More stuff that I do at work

If you get the San Jose Mercury News, this coming Monday, December 31, there will be a special 8-page insert that I created. This is about as exciting as my job gets. I do annual reports, brochures and flyers, but not often my work gets this large of a distribution. My name won't be on it, but it's all mine.

See that picture of the bus? I shot that photo standing directly in front of it... and I lived to write about it! Below is the original photo. The rest is all Photoshop.

A picture-perfect Merry Christmas to you all!

Ah, the beauty of Photoshop. What would I do without it? My family needs it like moviestars need a makeup artist. Here's a foreign website that shows some beautiful celebrities without makeup. Warning: you'll be shocked! Oh man, Jessica Simpson and Eva Longoria never looked so good!

As we searched through our photo library for a nice family photo, none existed. Sure we took many as a family, but none I would mass produce onto cards and pass out. Either Dustin's teeth is falling out, or Colby has some unnatural smirk, or Justine got boogies in her nose, or me with my mouth open yelling at the kids to smile... something's wrong with someone. That's when I decided to just build my own photo. Yeah, forget the stress and realization that your family is dysfunctional, just find a few good individual portraits and fool the world.

Welcome to Photoshop. Yep you guess it, I lifted each child off separate photos and assemble onto one. Then I found all the background images on the web and violá, instant memories worthy of framing. Well, maybe not. But good enough for all you beautiful people out there!

Also this is a great way to get a picture with Santa without standing in line to sit on some old fat stranger. Plus this Santa is cuter than a the one at the mall, and further proof to your kids that Santa is not real. Yes remember, Jesus is the reason for the season.

We wish you a blessed Christmas.

Children's Church performance in the CIBC Christmas Cantata

Dustin sings in the Childrens' Church choir during this year's Christmas Cantata (he's the one with a tie). I couldn't get a seat downstairs so I shot from upstairs where the view was better, but the sound wasn't quite as good. I filmed it with the Canon Powershot S2is.

As you will see, the singing begins before all the kids are up on stage. So I bet you're wondering what happened. I'll tell you what happened. On Saturday at the rehearsal we had 12 kids up there. They timed the music so that all 12 kids would be on stage by the time the music was cued. So today as you can see, by the time the 12th kid got on stage, the singing began, just like it did at rehearsal. I have no idea where those extra 10 kids came from. They definitely weren't at rehearsal! Who are their parents?! This is an outrage!

:)

Holiday lovin' from the Sarge

Sorry for spreading coals during this time of year, but this story is so incredible I just had to share.

Last week the Sarge (my boss' boss – you know, the one that makes 140K and charges us $20 for the Christmas party) wins a free luncheon for 15 people at a restaurant. Being in the Christmas spirit she opens up the invitation to the staff on a first-come first-serve basis. A bunch of people (including myself) accepts the kind offer and sign up.

On Monday the Sarge tells us that we'll be obligated to listen to a "short" sales pitch about financial planning at the restaurant. OK, no problem.

Then on Tuesday the Sarge emails us saying that since this is not a company-sponsored event, any time beyond our normal one-hour lunch would have to be charged to vacation time – Huh? Oh and I must mention the restaurant is 25 minutes away near Almaden. So essentially we'll have to charge 50 minutes of travel time and 15 minutes of presentation time to our vacation time in order to get this "FREE" lunch.

In a normal world this would be deceptive and two-faced. But where I work, this makes perfect sense.

Needless to say, people were dropping like flies off the sign-up list. What seemingly started as a nice gesture has turned into an ugly outrage. The lunch was today and although the mood around the office was a little hostile, we enjoyed the peaceful two hours while the managers were gone.

Oh and one more thing:
This morning we get a memo stating that everyone is "required to work a full day" on Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve and there is no early release. If you want to leave early, you must charge it to your vacation time.

Like I said, this makes perfect sense.

Now do you pity me??

Was there ever any doubt?

As I've said before, in between the naps, the blogs, the daydreaming and the eating... in my spare time I can be downright productive! Take this green logo contest I was fretting over back in September. Just when I thought it was a big joke, I come up with a design that beats out everyone else. Now I hear the natives are grumbling because they feel the designers have an unfair advantage.

Yeah, what can I say? I'm a trained professional and they're not. Sure it's unfair, but that's life. Do you think the world was happy in 1992 at Barcelona when the Dream Team entered the Olympics? Nope. But by 2004 at Athens, the once-undefeated USA team finished 5-3 with a bronze metal. So although now I'm doing some decent work, come 12 years later when I'm stressed out from raising teenagers and paying college tuition, no doubt I'll be relegated to designing bus signs and installing decals on trains.

In basketball you can train yourself to be a great shooter. But if you lack mental toughness and can't get into the paint, you will never shine. Same way with design, you can excel in all the software but if you don't have an eye for design, you'll struggle to say the least.

But even with a good eye, there's a lot more. Just like any other profession, you can only do great work if: 1) You're motivated. 2) You enjoy the process, and 3) You feel rewarded. This is what amazes me about the logo. I really had none of the three! Maybe I took it as a personal challenge to prove my bosses wrong – that I really do care (even though I really don't). Well whatever. It's done.

Here is a project that I applied all of the three factors. A couple weeks ago a friend emailed me a photo of their recent Hawaiian vacation. It was a beautiful family picture with the exception of a few "non-photogenic" people floating in the background. They wanted me to make the picture perfect. Knowing the husband, I originally searched for a picture of Bo Derek running... but alas, I settled for something more family-friendly. Click on photo for larger view.

Then last week another friend asked me to paste her kid's teacher on the body of Captain Kirk (um, okay. I don't need to know why). Oh yeah, and she wanted same-day turnaround. So although I'm a professional designer, in reality I'm just an online Photo-Mat for friends.

This is a heads-up before anyone else sends me a picture for alteration. Depending on my mood, I will edit as I see fit. It may also show up on my blog or maybe somewhere else. Who knows? You've been warned.

So back to the logo. If you're wondering about my prize for winning the contest, well I'm not expecting anything. Really I'm not. Remember this is a public agency where the directors make 6 figures and charge the staffers $20 for the Christmas party. Actually I'm lucky, I have a very kind and generous boss, unlike my buddy upstairs who works for Dr. Cheapomoto. So maybe I'll get a comp meal or maybe I'll get to go home half-hour early on Christmas eve. We'll see.

There's "Hope" for cheap family entertainment

If you've never seen the annual Christmas program at the Castro Valley Neighborhood Church, you REALLY need to see it!! Last night I took the boys to join Mr. Al's and Arthur's families to see "Hope is Born." We arrived one hour early and got some decent aisle seats.

I don't know how long the show's been running, but I remember seeing it over 20 years ago, and the feeling still hasn't changed. I was as amazed last night as I was back then (and all the years in between). Every year is a little different, but you can always count on the magnificent backdrops, the live animals, and the crying baby Jesus.

It's hard to describe how stunning it was so I posted some clips I took with my cheapy camera (sorry no zoom). Hopefully this will give you a taste of the magnitude of the entire production. Again, you REALLY need to see this in person! And it's all FREE!



For those of you wanting to go. We've already assembled a small group to go for Friday's 7:30 performance. To be safe, show up 45-60 minutes early to get good seating, otherwise your family of four may have to sit apart or upstairs. The entire program is close to 2 hours and they do offer childcare for 5 and under. Dustin survived the whole program but Colby started to fade after an hour. Prior to the show I would recommend bringing books, Gameboys or other entertainment for the kids while they wait, because they will get restless real fast.

Also, here's a tip if you want to enjoy the show: Don't sit in front of young kids. I felt bad for the folks in front of our kids last night. Even though it was unintentional, our kids would occasionally kick their chairs. Man do I hate some squirmy kid sitting behind me! So look for us on Friday and we'll understand if you don't want to sit near us :)

For more information and upcoming showtimes, please visit their website: www.3crosses.org

See you Friday!

100

Can you believe this is my 100th post?? Back in January when I started this blog, I was worried I wouldn't have any content for a second post. But here I am 99 posts later. Wow! This is truly a milestone.

A heartfelt thanks to my original test audience of 10 friends from afar. You've suffered through 99 blogs and you keep returning! By far you have been my most loyal and resilient bunch! I would like to think that I'm still friends with most of you.

To the friends I see every Sunday, thanks for providing content for my blog. If it weren't for our interactions, I wouldn't have such interesting characters to write about. And if you haven't been mentioned on my blog yet, your time will come.

And to everyone else (whether I know you or not), I'm honored at your presence around my virtual soapbox. Whether it be boredom, devotion or just curiosity, I'm feeling the love.

You see, blogging helps flush the mental blockages out of my head (because my head can only hold so much). It's like that big bucket of water at Great America. It slowly fills up until it tips and spills tons of gallons over everyone. Some people await and enjoy it. Others are shocked but still find it amusing. And then there's a few that are angry for getting wet. Yeah, that's my blog. It affects everyone in different ways. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Who knows how much longer I'll be blogging, but so far I haven't gotten tired of it. I have to admit, blogging can be hard work, but through it I've become closer to many of you – for that alone, it is clearly worth the effort. Also I've become closer to Chrissy (after finally allowing her to read mid way). In addition to our emails and text messages, my blog now fully completes all our communication needs. So the time we save not having to talk to each other we spend yelling at the kids!

I've written about this before, but I'd like to share this article again: 10 Reasons to Keep a Journal. I would like to encourage any of you itching to start a blog to give it a try. Treat it as a new year's resolution. You don't even need to share with anyone, just write as it comes. Have you read Stu's blog lately? He's been blogging since 2004 and only has 3 readers! And he don't care! Dude, I'm inspired big time!

And what about Mr. Al Young's Blog? Thanks to him, my money is spread among 8 bank accounts and 7 credit cards! You should read his blog while it's still authentic, because someday he'll be so rich he'll be paying someone else to blog for him!

And people like Patty and Dave who only blog twice a year... That's ok too. I'll be looking forward to next summer when they update again.

So thanks again for reading. And thanks for being a part of my life. The holidays are upon us and I'm hoping I will see many of you... because I'm always in need of content. :)

No more excuses

I hope you didn't line up for one of those $400 peecee laptops on Black Friday. You may have saved some money up front, but you'll be paying in other ways, such as mental anguish and lost productivity.

Here is a great deal on a decently-equipped brand new Mac mini. It's only $475 delivered from a trusted seller on ebay. A similar model currently sells at Apple for $599 + tax. The current 1.83ghz model has more ram, but this one has a superdrive (dvd-r). This is really a great deal. But act fast because the auction ends in 6 days or when his supply of 38 units sell out. The only thing I would add is some more ram ($23). Of course you can use your existing usb keyboard, mouse and monitor too.

Due to my blog, SO MANY of you have asked about getting a Mac this past month (and even this past weekend). You're frustrated at your peecee and just don't enjoy your computing experiences. I won't name any names but here's what I've heard from all of you (see if you can identify your statement):

1. My girls need a cheap computer to play on.
2. My wife's peecee is crashing nonstop.
3. How do you convert a dvd movie to mp4?
4. My daughter took my Mac and I don't want to share with my wife
5. I have video editing software but it's not user friendly
6. Dude, can you do a newsletter template for me... in Word?
7. How do you copy a dvd movie?
8. I don't know how to attach a photo to my email
9. How can I do a simple slideshow?
10. Will my Office files open on a Mac?

Dear friends, my heart bleeds for you. I'd love to help you, but we must first establish some common ground. We need to speak the same language. So go get your Mac and then come see me for the hookup. Say goodbye to viruses and pop-up windows and say hello to newfound freedom and productivity. Start organizing your photos, making home movies, and backing up all your dvd movies and stop installing drivers, service patches and the latest virus protection. The new Leopard OS is intuitive and user-friendly. You'll be amazed at all you can do. I've been using Macs for 18 years and I'm still discovering little neat tricks. At this price, this really is a no-brainer.

Stop the hacking

It started a few weeks ago with baby. Then the boys got it, and now Chrissy has it. Everyone in the house (except for me) is hacking. It seems like at the end of a cold, the coughing just lingers on and on forever. And of course they still continue to eat ice cream, oranges and ice water. Last night I told Chrissy that I read about a better cure for coughing. She asked what it was and I told her to be sure to read my blog tomorrow!

With the recent warnings about cold medicine and young children, we've been a bit reluctant to give our kids much of anything. We just let them suffer. As for the adults, my mom loves the DM, Chrissy the CF and I love the Guaifenesin with codeine. Dustin hates all medicine, but Colby loves it. He think it's candy.

So I was thrilled to hear about a product proven to be a better alternative to cough medicine – Honey! Read article here. That's great news! No need to worry about overdosing and forcing them to take it. It's something they already like. Now my only question is where to find buckwheat honey. Trader Joe's maybe?

The study, published Monday in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, found that children who received a small dose of buckwheat honey before bedtime slept better and coughed less than those who received either a common over-the-counter cough suppressant (dextromethorphan) or nothing at all.

This study is making big news. If you Google the story, you'll find a ton of articles about it. They say a tablespoon of honey 30 minutes before bedtime should do it. For me I prefer a bowl of honey with a bucket of Popeye's chicken :p But I suspect that would worsen the cough.

Everyone loves a joyride

There was a bit of excitement today at work. Can you believe some kids actually stole one of our 40-ft. buses for a joyride? No one has a clue as to how it happened. They're not even sure which bus yard it came from! But come tomorrow, they'll be looking for someone to blame. For sure the fecal matter will be hitting the spinning blades big time! Be sure to ask Sam about it when you see him this weekend. But don't mention my blog, he doesn't know about it. Shhh.
Click here for the full story in the Mercury News.

This incident brings back memories from 1973 when I, Jimmy and a few other family friends were playing on a tractor on Beaumont Ave. in Oakland. The road was being repaved and the tractor was left parked on top of the hill (on the corner of Park Blvd.). As curious boys, the five of us climbed aboard and started playing with the knobs and switches. Someone released the brakes (not me) and the next thing you know, the tractor started rolling down the hill. We all jumped off and I remember being afraid of not being able to clear the moving treads. So there we stood watching helplessly as the tractor headed for the parked cars below.

Crash! as it hits the first car, a Dodge Colt. Then crash again as it pushes the Dodge into a beige Mercedes. Then a third crash as it pushed the two cars into a Corona. And the final crash as all three cars smashed up against some big American sedan. By then the tractor was all the way down to E38th Street. All the neighbors came out and the police arrived. One by one, each of us had to submit to a police report. Man oh man, I was freaked out of my mind!

A couple weeks later we were getting sued by the car owners and I was interviewed by an attorney. In the end, the construction company accepted all blame and I was able to resume life as a 6 year-old. Somehow I can't imagine girls ever getting into this kind of trouble... To this day that experience is ingrained into my soul with images that are as clear as yesterday. It's true, some things you just never forget.

Now THAT's what you call a joyride!