My 5/40 Club

On Wednesday I attended the funeral of my dear friend's mom. In the photo above, I am pictured in the company of my longest lasting friendships. Hard to believe, but I have been friends with each of these guys for over 40 years. The only guy missing is Chris (the original Fongpay), whom I see every week. All in all, I still keep in touch with five friends that I've grown up with since kindergarten. I am in the 5/40 Club.

No one actually enjoys a funeral, but to put a positive on it, you'll get to reunite with distant friends/relatives all in one place and relive those cherished memories you share with them. Seeing dear friends during the most depressing times really help take the sting out of the mourning—if even for only an hour. When I got the email Friday for the funeral, I'm sure I did exactly what these other guys did, I moved my schedule around to be sure I would be there. There was no way I was going to miss it. That's what best friends do.

As one of their wives mentioned to me, friendships like these are extremely rare, and to have five of them, that's practically unheard of. People move, switch churches, and generally have a tendency to just move on with no looking back. Sure we keep tabs on each other via Facebook, but making occasional online comments will never replace face to face interaction. Whenever one of them are in town, we make it a priority to get together.

Unlike today, 40 years ago, all our families stayed put. First generation immigrants have fewer job opportunities so they rarely get out of Oakland. The result is a cohesive group of children that grew up together for 12 years. Throw in Sunday School and Friday fellowships, then you'll also get the spiritual influence and moral accountability that comes with it. It's no accident that three of them are in full-time ministry. I won't tell you how many times I've been faced with decisions to do something bad only to decline because of my accountability and reputation to my church friends. Having experienced temptation, I cannot stress the importance of a steady biblical influence throughout your entire childhood and life. I think our only transgressions growing up were driving without a license and shooting off illegal fireworks.

My oldest is in seventh grade. Already he has at least six Christian friends he has known since kindergarten. My hope is as my children grow, they too will someday be in their own 5/40 clubs. For that to happen, we need to stay put, and our friends have to stay put. We all invest time in each other which hopefully eliminates any desire to leave. If you choose to leave, wherever you go, it would probably take a decade to nurture and replace the relationships you're leaving behind. I mean honestly, you ain't never gonna find another friend like me! Haha!

Right now we are really blessed with our young families group. I think it is the best it has ever been! We have about 15 consistent families with most parents being here 10-40 years. We meet weekly for lunch, monthly for small and large groups, and annually for vacations. Because of these consistent events, our kids have developed deep, lasting friendships, rooted in biblical teachings. I'm sure someday when my children are facing trials, they'll be glad to have these friendships to lean upon.

"A friend's a friend forever if the Lord's a Lord of them." - Michael W. Smith

Lake Tahoe Snow Trip

Last month we went to Lake Tahoe for our annual snow retreat. The cabin was much nicer than the one at Twain Harte, complete with pool table, xbox and wifi. The best thing about it was the big hill directly behind it so we didn't have to travel anywhere. Cost was only $10 more per family versus Twain Harte, but the drive was definitely longer (200 miles vs. 120 miles).

The last time I went to Lake Tahoe was to go mountain biking in the early 90s. The last time I went to Lake Tahoe to play in the snow was with YTF in the early 80s. I guess after hearing countless horror stories of being stuck on the road 9 hours, or rolling your minivan down an embankment, or the recent death at China Peak... made me want to completely avoid any adult "fun" snow activities. I am alive today not because I moved out of Oakland, but because I resisted skiing and snowboarding.

I'm amazed at those of you who frequently risk your lives on the road and on the slopes just to catch some fresh powder. You blatantly post your reckless pics on Facebook not thinking about your worrisome family at home. You even trick yourself to believe that installing chains is just a minor inconvenience. I pray for your safety and I pray for your family as you spit into the face of death.

Below are some photos that chronicle the weekend activities:

First day, not much snow. But the big storm was just around the corner.

Growing up in Oakland, I've experienced hail, heard gunshots, and seen dead bodies, but I've never witnessed falling snow. It was neat at first, but it quickly became not so neat. Instead of getting the kids back to the house, I made them pose in the storm as I tried to capture the moment.

The next morning I dared the kids to go out barefoot (Note to self: never dare them anything.) I told them they could go out only if they didn't tell their parents it was my idea.

Here's a sugar-free, fat-free, natural and healthy treat – icicles. I used a broom to knock them off the roof. They loved it!

Trying to gather all the kids to come pose for picture is like trying to gather a scattering bag of marbles that broke on the floor.

We ain't going nowhere! Seriously, my battery was dead.

The safer alternative: sledding in the fresh powder after the storm. No helmet required.

He can now tell his friends how he sledded head-first into a tree and survived.

Sure, you can play in the middle of the street. Just don't tell mom.

After a long exhausting day in the snow, pure sugar is the best way to replenish the body!

Sledding got kinda boring the next day. Let's go body-sliding instead. Just don't tell mom how you messed up your clothes.

Join me and I will complete your training. It is your destiny. Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son. 
Needless to say, those two underestimated the young Padawan.

Our Shrek-like creation. It would have been nice to somehow make him green, but our only color option was yellow.

Four families, three nights, and two showers, make for one memorable trip!

The Hot Pot Legacy

Just as I was contemplating retiring this blog, one of my favorite annual rituals came up: Ray's Hot Pot Party! I've blogged about this party the last three years so it will be disappointing to my readers to not keep it going. Yeah, leave it to Ray to keep postponing my retirement by providing fresh content. This blog may not die just yet.

It's only been three months since my last blog. That's not that long considering yesterday OFaithGraceHope posted three new blogs after a three year absence! In my absence I hope you've been following MamaCez. She has superhuman abilities to be able to blog faster than I can read! And what amazing life adventures they lead! But here's a warning: reading her blog will only depress you, because you'll quickly realize your life will never be as good as theirs.

In the photo above, we were observing a moment of silence for the deaths of Kim Jong Il and the Raider's postseason.

BGG (Boiler Girl Grace) is like the most dependable soldier. She cooked for everyone and never left her post. Owen stayed by her side half the time, but eventually left. He did come back later with a pee bucket.

I still recall that memorable night five years ago when she was born.
We were all depressed because we were short one person for mahjong!

If you go to a New Year Eve's party, it's bad etiquette to fall asleep or leave before midnight.

It's after midnight and the Spice Girls are just warming up!

That, my friend, is the look of a loser!

Playing baseball in a house full of breakable items at 1:30 a.m. – I see nothing wrong with that!

Flashing, kissing, and acting weird on New Year's Eve – I see nothing wrong with that.

In case I don't blog again next year, below are a collection of our hot pot gatherings over the years. Even with Ray gone to Texas, South America and Africa during those years, I am grateful we've all remained close friends to this day. The craziness will live on forever!

 2010
It's like coming back from vacation and looking at your photos and asking,
"How did that Caucasian couple get into the picture??"
Also, I just realized I did not blog about this! How did that happen??

2009
Chris and I both showed up solo. Can you say, "Best Year Ever?!"
Oh, and one family was late and insisted to be Photoshopped in. Any guesses?

2008
This was a quieter year because Grace had some preaching excuse engagement,
so we replaced them with another preacher.
I had a horrible night of MJ, but kicked butt on Scrabble.

2007
My boys were away at my sister's – Second Best Year Ever!
I snuck Grace and Owen in. I told them it's cool, just blend in...
Ted deep fried a turkey and Twinkies.
Charlie is neatly tucked away under Mary's sweater.
And this was our first year taking a group photo.

2006
Sadly could not find any photos of the hotpot party.
This was the day after, at our house, eating the rest of the uncooked food.

2005
Again, no photos found.

2004
I dug this one up. Look, still the same furniture!

The Love of a Preacher Man

My good buddy Ray is finally back to California for good! Those 10 years seemed to just come and go. During his fruitful years, he pastored the youth in Texas, explored missionary work in Ecuador/Tanzania/Egypt (finally landing in Uganda), and most importantly, serving and learning Spanish in Mexico.

Working in San Jose, I truly believe Spanish is the most important second language to learn in America. I know many of you think Mandarin is the way to go. You think it's academic, respected, and superior to the lowly Cantonese. But most Mandarin speakers already speak English quite well. So unless you intend to move to China or want to pick up a high-maintenance fobby chick at the karaoke bar, I don't see the value in speaking Mandarin. Remember back in the 80's when they said Japanese was the most important language to learn? Um, yeah.

Ray can personally attest to the benefits of knowing Spanish. All this time while we thought Ray had no interest in women, he was secretly romancing a girl named Judit... across the border! Yep, that Ray is an international man of mystery! In school, he must've aced Spanish Pickup Lines 101. Yes, our prayers have been answered! Ray has found his true love!

Last month Ray pinged me. He asked about my availability on a certain day in September. He said he needed a photographer for a secret mission. (Photography?? I was thinking mahjong and hotpot...) I was a bit intrigued so I agreed. Then he dropped the bomb and told me it was an engagement session of him and Judit. What?? Last month I didn't even know she existed... and now you're engaged?? 

I was hesitant at first—mainly because I've never done anything remotely close to this. I mean, the only couples I've ever shot were a couple of light rail cars, or a couple of pregnant teens boarding a bus. And it's been a long while since my Scott Robert and Lightroom trainings. But since Ray is my favorite missionary man (sorry Dave), I knew I had to do my best to support him any way I can.

We tried a couple of locations at Crissy Field but it was crowded and windy. We finally settled at the Presidio where we found several interesting backdrops. Judit was a total natural as she just knew what kind of poses she wanted. As the day wore on, we got more and more confident and comfortable with each other. I let them do their thing while I just snapped away. Before we knew it, it was time to go home. And I was dying to get started on the post-processing.

In the end, the pictures speak for themselves. They really need to get a room! Haha!! Thanks Ray and Judit for entrusting these memories to me. I truly had a great time with you both. Just remember, I don't do weddings :)

Back to Twain Harte

Last weekend we went back to Twain Harte for our now annual snow vacation. We stayed at the same cabin as last year but with two different families. The Maks and Trans both have recent new additions to their families so they had to sit out this time. But they definitely plan to be there next year.

We originally planned to go on President's weekend, but it was booked. And good thing, because there was hardly any snow left around the cabin. The lack of rain in January caused most of the snow to melt. Fortunately, the main snow hill still had enough to sled on, whew! I feel sorry for those people coming later this month when that hill dries up. Boy will they be disappointed!

More big kids this year, so a lot more sledding.

All smiles before attempting the big snow hill for the first time.

Last year, there were about 20 people here. This year, just us.

 You can ask my wife what she "took a big ol'..." of.

A new play area they discovered. What's with kids and water?

 We found this abandoned bunker. I dared them to see if there was a body in there.

60 degree weather and beautiful surroundings.

She's a big girl now and can sled on her own (frees up daddy to do his own thing).

When staying at a cabin with friends, it's really all about the junkfood.

On the last day, the hill was icy and super fast! And it had noticeably less snow.

Um, so what do you expect from a family of Asian female drivers?

It's like that Haunted Mansion ride at Disneyland...
There's a ghoul sitting behind you the whole time and you don't even know.

No injuries and we all still mostly remain friends :) We got home by 10 p.m. Sunday.

We're already looking forward to next season where we'll hopefully get two cabins and six families. We may even go twice. Better reserve your spot soon!