Valentine's Renewal

Has it really been seven months since my last blog entry?? That's what my number-one fan stated to me last week in a blunt email titled, "You still alive?" Well I don't know how much juice I have left in the tank, but okay, I will attempt to give this blog a quick kick-start for the few of you still around. So fittingly, I will renew this blog with a story of renewal.

Yesterday on Valentine's Day, the company hosted a ceremony for the above couple to renew their wedding vows. This year was their 60th anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than to do it on a rail car that is even older than them!

This whole wedding hoohah was a last minute PR stunt of the GM. After months of bad press with robberies, crashes, and lack of ridership, he wanted to improve the negative perception of our transit system with a feel-good campaign. You know, like "The Ride is So Great, You'll Forget You are Late" or safety messages like "Travel in a Pack and You Won't Get Attacked." At the same time, it was his chance to showcase the trolley and shoot back at the media, saying, "Ah ha! You were wrong! Not every one of our cars are covered with graffiti and foul smells!"

We originally wanted an actual wedding, but since the promotion did not start until late January, we really limited our candidates to mainly promiscuous partygirls whose EPT stick turned positive within the last month. If you think about it: instant wedding (before you start showing), two nights at Fairmont Hotel, steakhouse dinner, gift certificates, and only 10 guests allowed... It truly is the perfect wedding of desperation!

It was shocking to us that even though our buses are filled with dropouts, gang bangers and teen moms, not one applied. Maybe because the application required a 150-word essay about their story. So first, they need to have some sort of education. And I guess if the essay starts with, "Um, we met at a party..." and ends with "or else my dad gonna kill us..." it doesn't make for good storytelling. It also required a photo, so if you have tattoos across your face and neck, you may have already disqualified yourself.

As February approached with zero applicants, all the managers were freaking out. They even tried frantically to matchmake their own nerdy children. Then for one hour, they relented and opened the firewall to allowed everyone to log onto their Facebook accounts to spread the word. They were thinking: surely, all our employees must have non-planning, no-budget, fly-by-seat-of-their-pants friends that would want to get married on ten days notice, right?

In the end, they wisely opened it up to anyone wanting to renew their wedding vows. Four entries were submitted and this couple was picked (six days prior to the 14th).

Depending on the feedback we get, we intend to do this again next year. So come January, be sure to check up on your single friends in case they get knocked up on New Year's Eve. But seriously, this is every guy's dream wedding. No coordinating, no rehearsal, no relatives. Flowers/cake/drinks/photographer/minister all free. Just show up. Even winning a game show doesn't get this good!

VTA, where were you 17 years ago??!!

 

 

The Love of a Preacher Man

My good buddy Ray is finally back to California for good! Those 10 years seemed to just come and go. During his fruitful years, he pastored the youth in Texas, explored missionary work in Ecuador/Tanzania/Egypt (finally landing in Uganda), and most importantly, serving and learning Spanish in Mexico.

Working in San Jose, I truly believe Spanish is the most important second language to learn in America. I know many of you think Mandarin is the way to go. You think it's academic, respected, and superior to the lowly Cantonese. But most Mandarin speakers already speak English quite well. So unless you intend to move to China or want to pick up a high-maintenance fobby chick at the karaoke bar, I don't see the value in speaking Mandarin. Remember back in the 80's when they said Japanese was the most important language to learn? Um, yeah.

Ray can personally attest to the benefits of knowing Spanish. All this time while we thought Ray had no interest in women, he was secretly romancing a girl named Judit... across the border! Yep, that Ray is an international man of mystery! In school, he must've aced Spanish Pickup Lines 101. Yes, our prayers have been answered! Ray has found his true love!

Last month Ray pinged me. He asked about my availability on a certain day in September. He said he needed a photographer for a secret mission. (Photography?? I was thinking mahjong and hotpot...) I was a bit intrigued so I agreed. Then he dropped the bomb and told me it was an engagement session of him and Judit. What?? Last month I didn't even know she existed... and now you're engaged?? 

I was hesitant at first—mainly because I've never done anything remotely close to this. I mean, the only couples I've ever shot were a couple of light rail cars, or a couple of pregnant teens boarding a bus. And it's been a long while since my Scott Robert and Lightroom trainings. But since Ray is my favorite missionary man (sorry Dave), I knew I had to do my best to support him any way I can.

We tried a couple of locations at Crissy Field but it was crowded and windy. We finally settled at the Presidio where we found several interesting backdrops. Judit was a total natural as she just knew what kind of poses she wanted. As the day wore on, we got more and more confident and comfortable with each other. I let them do their thing while I just snapped away. Before we knew it, it was time to go home. And I was dying to get started on the post-processing.

In the end, the pictures speak for themselves. They really need to get a room! Haha!! Thanks Ray and Judit for entrusting these memories to me. I truly had a great time with you both. Just remember, I don't do weddings :)

Me and my bus

Remember last year when Blah Blah Bonkers came and bragged about wasting all those stimulus funds on a fleet of overpriced buses? Well, the fleet started to arrive late last year. Since then, I've been tasked to follow the publicity road show, as well as take beauty shots for promotional purposes. It's one of those rare occasions where you'll experience a shiny new empty bus that still has the new-car smell (rather than the usual b.o./urine smell). No graffiti, no slashed seats, no sticky floors... Just an immaculate pretty bus.

To be fair, our buses are visibly cleaner (and safer) than those of AC Transit where I spent my terrified childhood on. Not surprisingly, our only dangerous routes are the ones that connect directly to AC Transit (Great Mall and Fremont BART). And don't expect to see these shiny hybrids doing the high school pickups either, nope. No greasy, foul-mouth, tattooed, pregnant, saggy-pants, fatherless dropouts are allowed, just decent working class adults and seniors.

The above photo was a press event where they bragged about spending every last dime of the funds, further plunging your children's future into inescapable debt. On the bright side though, while your kids are working to pay off the deficit, they'll most likely be dead.

Rep. M. Honda is laughing at how Americans just can't build hybrids as well as the Japanese. But as a democrat, he finds comfort knowing that if they break down in five years, Obummer will still be in office and "we'll just have to buy another fleet!"

Rep. Zooey Luvgun, "Hurry with the photo sonny, I need to go censure my buddy Charlie, or as we call it, 'grill some chuck steak!'"

For the record, I did not design this bus wrap. My designs are usually edgy with a hint of intimidation and danger. But General Merciless prefers the beautiful natural scenery as a reminder of the world he once left behind when he became a warlord of the underworld.

I don't often get to leave my cell. So to make sure I don't escape, they send my up the lift and then leave for lunch. Fortunately we had good weather that day.

Another wrap I did not design – can you tell? The blue in the sky doesn't even match the blue on the stripes – a big design no-no! And the green logo? It's massive and doesn't match anything either! I think the General is colorblind from living all these years in a dark cave. He has the eyes of a dog. Next time, I'll show you the bus I myself designed for our next fleet. 

Here is a pure unadulterated bus. I felt like taking off my shoes before boarding. When you own the bus, you own the road. I told the driver to just stop it here in the middle of this turnabout. Who cares if cars have to drive around us, I'll just photoshop them out if need be.

Yeah, baby got back! I bet you never thought the rear of a bus could look this sexy!

As we were scoping out places to shoot, I saw this new building off the freeway. It is still fenced off but I told the driver to go A-Team and crash through the gates because I desperately wanted a shot with those palm trees!

Once inside, I saw a sign that this site was managed by a company my friend works for. 'Cool' I thought, if I get in trouble, I'll just drop his name and say he gave me permission :)

Yep, not a soul in sight. Like paradise. I asked the driver if it was possible to do donuts on a bus. He was not sure. I asked if he wanted to try. He declined. I asked if he knew how to make the tires smoke. He said he might know how but didn't want to try. Oh well. I tried. We'll just have to settle for these pics.

Betty & Patrick

Last Saturday I was among the privileged to witness the marriage of Betty and Patrick. They were married at the same church we married at 14 years ago. It brought back many memories, including the fact that I met my wife at that very same church playing volleyball. If I just look among my circle of friends, I can easily identify seven other couples that either met or started dating during their volleyball days. Yep, volleyball is like a bar hangout for single Christians. My favorite pick up line was, "Would you like to bump with me?"

Anyway, back to Betty.

I've known Betty since high school. In 1986 I helped her negotiate a great deal on her first new car at the SF Autocenter – a Mazda 323 just like the one I had myself. Ever since then, I've NEVER stepped foot inside a car salesman's office again! (Thank you Craigslist!) And considering Betty's been a subscriber to my blog from the very start, I can honestly say that even after 24 years, I'm still helping her save money! Hey, what are friends for??

For those of you fortunate enough to know Betty as long as I have, you'll agree that this wedding was a bit sweeter and happier than your typical wedding. I for one, am overjoyed for her and I look forward to knowing Patrick better (I hear he's a Mac user so I already like him).

This is the first wedding I've attended since my Scott Robert training. As much as I wanted to go nuts with the D300s, I resisted. With all the other photographers firing away, I didn't want to add to the constant annoyance of rapid-fire shutter clicks everywhere during the ceremony. Plus, I think it's rude to get out of your seat to shoot if you weren't asked prior to do so. But let's say if my child was up there with the wedding party, well then I may not be able to control myself… (Mmmkay, C & B?)

So with Betty's permission, I would like to share these memories with you. Congratulations Betty and Patrick!

The pastor (and all the non-asian people) were from Ohio.

Does Hung seem a little TOO happy in this pic?

Steve asked me, "Where do you find all those great deals??"
The money I help them save will put their daughters through college.

I haven't seen Rita and Elaine in over 15 years. Both are married. They sorta still recognize me.

Well fed and rested.They brought their kids so they had plenty of leftover food on their table.

Kandace is happy because she drank four bowls of sharkfin soup.

Jerry tried to sneak off to the bathroom so he wouldn't have to speak.
Unfortunately he came back too soon and still got stuck with the microphone.

A little blurry – exactly how I remember Anna. It's been 30 years since I last teased, um saw her.
She refused to believe it's really me. I had to assure her I'm the real deal!

My latest assignment: press photographer

Last week at the eleventh hour, I was summoned to be official press photographer (although I prefer to be known as a photo-journalist) for some big event involving the members of the Enormously Vile Infamous Leaders. Apparently some important Mega-Lord was visiting. As always, the Captain can't get her act together and is too cheap to hire a pro... So I'm sent out with my five year-old, mostly-working, half-dependable D70. Enjoy.

My handiwork is visible on all three vehicles. You already know I designed the community bus.

Remember my green logo?

My first buswrap design. This bus is like a rolling classroom (with flat screen tv's) educating seniors and the disabled about taking public transportation. Hmm, I wonder who's inside...

We readily offer crash courses in driving. And we only hire the best drivers. You're not qualified unless you're able to make the bus look like this.

OMG!! Is that really Senator Blablah Bonkers??!! She's so much taller on television.

Reporter: Um Senator... Senator... Hey, this isn't really her! We've been tricked! It's a wax dummy! Oh wait, it's breathing...
Bonkers: Sorry boys, I was just having a rigor mortis moment. What? You think it's easy living with ice in your veins??

Henchman: You see Senator, this motor can shred a person into a hundred unrecognizable pieces. Now we just have to figure out how to get Carly to stand in front of the bus..."
Mayor Chucky: She's meeting with me next week. We can make it look like an accident.

Reporter: Mr Mayor, what are your plans beyond your term? Will you run for re-election?
Mayor Chucky: I'm currently in talks – or may I say "grunts" – with Hollywood for the next Addams Family movie. They think I'm a shoo-in for Lurch!

Bonkers: Let me tell you all, Obummer is a wimp! That's right, I said it! It was MY idea to waste these stimulus dollars for a fleet of unneeded hybrid buses and Prius vehicles to combat that ludicrous global warming concept. Yes, mark my words, this will be MY legacy! Because after I'm long gone and after the hybrids become obsolete... your children, and your children's children... they will all continue to remember me. How's that you ask? Because they will still be paying off the bill!! Muwahahahahahaha!!!!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, with last week's crushing defeat in Massachusetts, is it true your party has lost touch with not only Republicans but Independents also? What can you do to reach across to the other side... to let them know you understand their frustration and feel their pain?
Bonkers: Quite frankly, what you are asking is impossible. I absolutely CAN NOT do that. I mean, how can you expect me to feel for the other half of the country when on most days I can't even feel the other half of my body?!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, as a tireless champion for a woman's right to choose and protecting the right to partial birth and late-term abortions... in your opinion, when is a fetus considered to be a human being?
Bonkers: When it votes Democrat!