My 5/40 Club

On Wednesday I attended the funeral of my dear friend's mom. In the photo above, I am pictured in the company of my longest lasting friendships. Hard to believe, but I have been friends with each of these guys for over 40 years. The only guy missing is Chris (the original Fongpay), whom I see every week. All in all, I still keep in touch with five friends that I've grown up with since kindergarten. I am in the 5/40 Club.

No one actually enjoys a funeral, but to put a positive on it, you'll get to reunite with distant friends/relatives all in one place and relive those cherished memories you share with them. Seeing dear friends during the most depressing times really help take the sting out of the mourning—if even for only an hour. When I got the email Friday for the funeral, I'm sure I did exactly what these other guys did, I moved my schedule around to be sure I would be there. There was no way I was going to miss it. That's what best friends do.

As one of their wives mentioned to me, friendships like these are extremely rare, and to have five of them, that's practically unheard of. People move, switch churches, and generally have a tendency to just move on with no looking back. Sure we keep tabs on each other via Facebook, but making occasional online comments will never replace face to face interaction. Whenever one of them are in town, we make it a priority to get together.

Unlike today, 40 years ago, all our families stayed put. First generation immigrants have fewer job opportunities so they rarely get out of Oakland. The result is a cohesive group of children that grew up together for 12 years. Throw in Sunday School and Friday fellowships, then you'll also get the spiritual influence and moral accountability that comes with it. It's no accident that three of them are in full-time ministry. I won't tell you how many times I've been faced with decisions to do something bad only to decline because of my accountability and reputation to my church friends. Having experienced temptation, I cannot stress the importance of a steady biblical influence throughout your entire childhood and life. I think our only transgressions growing up were driving without a license and shooting off illegal fireworks.

My oldest is in seventh grade. Already he has at least six Christian friends he has known since kindergarten. My hope is as my children grow, they too will someday be in their own 5/40 clubs. For that to happen, we need to stay put, and our friends have to stay put. We all invest time in each other which hopefully eliminates any desire to leave. If you choose to leave, wherever you go, it would probably take a decade to nurture and replace the relationships you're leaving behind. I mean honestly, you ain't never gonna find another friend like me! Haha!

Right now we are really blessed with our young families group. I think it is the best it has ever been! We have about 15 consistent families with most parents being here 10-40 years. We meet weekly for lunch, monthly for small and large groups, and annually for vacations. Because of these consistent events, our kids have developed deep, lasting friendships, rooted in biblical teachings. I'm sure someday when my children are facing trials, they'll be glad to have these friendships to lean upon.

"A friend's a friend forever if the Lord's a Lord of them." - Michael W. Smith

The Hot Pot Legacy

Just as I was contemplating retiring this blog, one of my favorite annual rituals came up: Ray's Hot Pot Party! I've blogged about this party the last three years so it will be disappointing to my readers to not keep it going. Yeah, leave it to Ray to keep postponing my retirement by providing fresh content. This blog may not die just yet.

It's only been three months since my last blog. That's not that long considering yesterday OFaithGraceHope posted three new blogs after a three year absence! In my absence I hope you've been following MamaCez. She has superhuman abilities to be able to blog faster than I can read! And what amazing life adventures they lead! But here's a warning: reading her blog will only depress you, because you'll quickly realize your life will never be as good as theirs.

In the photo above, we were observing a moment of silence for the deaths of Kim Jong Il and the Raider's postseason.

BGG (Boiler Girl Grace) is like the most dependable soldier. She cooked for everyone and never left her post. Owen stayed by her side half the time, but eventually left. He did come back later with a pee bucket.

I still recall that memorable night five years ago when she was born.
We were all depressed because we were short one person for mahjong!

If you go to a New Year Eve's party, it's bad etiquette to fall asleep or leave before midnight.

It's after midnight and the Spice Girls are just warming up!

That, my friend, is the look of a loser!

Playing baseball in a house full of breakable items at 1:30 a.m. – I see nothing wrong with that!

Flashing, kissing, and acting weird on New Year's Eve – I see nothing wrong with that.

In case I don't blog again next year, below are a collection of our hot pot gatherings over the years. Even with Ray gone to Texas, South America and Africa during those years, I am grateful we've all remained close friends to this day. The craziness will live on forever!

 2010
It's like coming back from vacation and looking at your photos and asking,
"How did that Caucasian couple get into the picture??"
Also, I just realized I did not blog about this! How did that happen??

2009
Chris and I both showed up solo. Can you say, "Best Year Ever?!"
Oh, and one family was late and insisted to be Photoshopped in. Any guesses?

2008
This was a quieter year because Grace had some preaching excuse engagement,
so we replaced them with another preacher.
I had a horrible night of MJ, but kicked butt on Scrabble.

2007
My boys were away at my sister's – Second Best Year Ever!
I snuck Grace and Owen in. I told them it's cool, just blend in...
Ted deep fried a turkey and Twinkies.
Charlie is neatly tucked away under Mary's sweater.
And this was our first year taking a group photo.

2006
Sadly could not find any photos of the hotpot party.
This was the day after, at our house, eating the rest of the uncooked food.

2005
Again, no photos found.

2004
I dug this one up. Look, still the same furniture!

The Love of a Preacher Man

My good buddy Ray is finally back to California for good! Those 10 years seemed to just come and go. During his fruitful years, he pastored the youth in Texas, explored missionary work in Ecuador/Tanzania/Egypt (finally landing in Uganda), and most importantly, serving and learning Spanish in Mexico.

Working in San Jose, I truly believe Spanish is the most important second language to learn in America. I know many of you think Mandarin is the way to go. You think it's academic, respected, and superior to the lowly Cantonese. But most Mandarin speakers already speak English quite well. So unless you intend to move to China or want to pick up a high-maintenance fobby chick at the karaoke bar, I don't see the value in speaking Mandarin. Remember back in the 80's when they said Japanese was the most important language to learn? Um, yeah.

Ray can personally attest to the benefits of knowing Spanish. All this time while we thought Ray had no interest in women, he was secretly romancing a girl named Judit... across the border! Yep, that Ray is an international man of mystery! In school, he must've aced Spanish Pickup Lines 101. Yes, our prayers have been answered! Ray has found his true love!

Last month Ray pinged me. He asked about my availability on a certain day in September. He said he needed a photographer for a secret mission. (Photography?? I was thinking mahjong and hotpot...) I was a bit intrigued so I agreed. Then he dropped the bomb and told me it was an engagement session of him and Judit. What?? Last month I didn't even know she existed... and now you're engaged?? 

I was hesitant at first—mainly because I've never done anything remotely close to this. I mean, the only couples I've ever shot were a couple of light rail cars, or a couple of pregnant teens boarding a bus. And it's been a long while since my Scott Robert and Lightroom trainings. But since Ray is my favorite missionary man (sorry Dave), I knew I had to do my best to support him any way I can.

We tried a couple of locations at Crissy Field but it was crowded and windy. We finally settled at the Presidio where we found several interesting backdrops. Judit was a total natural as she just knew what kind of poses she wanted. As the day wore on, we got more and more confident and comfortable with each other. I let them do their thing while I just snapped away. Before we knew it, it was time to go home. And I was dying to get started on the post-processing.

In the end, the pictures speak for themselves. They really need to get a room! Haha!! Thanks Ray and Judit for entrusting these memories to me. I truly had a great time with you both. Just remember, I don't do weddings :)

My NC-40 Birthday BBQ

If you're like me, with several kids, there's never a shortage of birthday parties. It seems like we've been averaging two parties a week every week since school let out. Most of these parties involve our core group of church families, so I know everyone and generally have a great time. But sometimes it's my kids' school friends, which I totally dread... Sorry, but I find it hard to go out and meet new parents. Them soccer moms are so clique-ish with their Mandarin gossip, Burberry purses, and luxury SUV's... and need I mention their freakish overachieving children? Gag! I quickly find myself among the only two dads there, so I get stuck trying to make conversation with that other poor soul. The party can't end soon enough.

So for my birthday, I begged the wife to let me invite my friends, regardless if my family liked them or not :) I wanted to invite everyone, but in the interest of saving my marriage, the wife suggested I only invite people that I don't normally see. Furthermore, in order to make me feel young (or at least younger), all adults had to be to be my age or older. Criteria: if you can't remember exactly where you were when you found out Bruce Lee died, you're too young.

The group that was finally assembled I affectionately refer to them as the "Loud & Proud Crowd." They have the largest appetites for life and have matching lungs to prove it. They talk about everything under the sun and no topic is forbidden, including personal hygiene and unflattering emissions. My mom even commented to me in another room that she's never heard so many women laugh so loud. I had to tell her one of those women was Dave.

Actually I was getting back at my new next-door Indian neighbors. Last week they had a party where they were singing Bollywood karaoke (I had no idea there was such a thing). That day I witnessed some of the most bizarre sounds... some questionably non-human. One could argue they were teaching goats how to bleat in unison. So with the all my windows facing their side open, we roared back to show them exactly how us Chinamen party! The only thing missing was the clacking of mahjong tiles.

Needless to say, the party was a total blast. Your closest friends will never leave early claiming, "it's past my kid's bedtime…" But since it was a work night and Patty was coming, we had to have an end time of 10 p.m., otherwise Patty would have started pulling that aerobed out of her purse.

I would encourage you 40-something people to throw yourself a birthday party every once in a while. You don't need to think about goodie-bags, bouncy houses or piñatas, just have a simple dinner party with fun people. I would venture to guess that for most people, the last time they had a party just for themselves was their baby shower or bachelor party. So forget about your kids' friends for once and just invite your own. And of course, be sure to invite me :)

Thanks to Matt for taking the great pics.

If you're a single woman looking to attract men (not these men though), throw a BBQ.

Up until now, they've only read about my famous loft. Now they finally get to experience it!

All my friends are low-maintenance, self-entertaining people.

I had to build a second loft for Justine. No stinky boys are allowed on this one.

My mom makes the plumpest gin dui's, unlike those golfball-sized, thick-skinned Chinatown variety.

Is he kung fu fighting or trying to pass gas? Either way, the girls were keeping their distance.

There's no such thing as having too big of a grill.

My multi-talented loving wife who cleaned, prepped, cooked and cleaned nonstop for two days! AND, she even packs my lunch for work! I think she knew from the very start that it wouldn't be easy being married to me!

With a party of this magnitude, security detail was left to the Angels.

Can't be any louder. Can't be any prouder!

Mama Cez
For another perspective of my party, please visit Mama Cez. Yes, my one-time guest blogger started her own blog. And she is a blogging machine!! I did offer her some suggestions for the title of her blog (The Cez Dispenser, Cez-Side Story, Take a Dip in the Cez-pool, etc.), but like any highly creative person, she came up with her own.  So if you like to read about the lives of people that are more intriguing than mine, while catching more of Matt's exquisite photography, you should follow her blog.

Jaden turns 3

As I contemplate retiring from blogging, over the weekend I was encouraged to try and keep it going. They tell me how they miss reading about my life adventures, my party life and my work misery. Yes, work is miserable because we are short staffed which kind of kills my time for blogging. Also, I told them in order to keep this blog going, I would need their help. This means they need to keep my life eventful by inviting me over to all their parties and functions. They then said, "Ahh, just kill it, no one really reads it anyway..."

So this post is a bit overdue. But considering I've covered all the events of Jaden's life thus far (birth, red egg party, first and second birthdays), it wouldn't be right to stop now. In fact, if you want to further follow the Lau-sy lives of their family, be sure to check out Jeanie's blog, A-Lau Me to Explain. When it comes to planning parties, Jeanie is among the best in covering all the tiny details. As I've said before, Jimmy is one lucky dawg!

Betty & Patrick

Last Saturday I was among the privileged to witness the marriage of Betty and Patrick. They were married at the same church we married at 14 years ago. It brought back many memories, including the fact that I met my wife at that very same church playing volleyball. If I just look among my circle of friends, I can easily identify seven other couples that either met or started dating during their volleyball days. Yep, volleyball is like a bar hangout for single Christians. My favorite pick up line was, "Would you like to bump with me?"

Anyway, back to Betty.

I've known Betty since high school. In 1986 I helped her negotiate a great deal on her first new car at the SF Autocenter – a Mazda 323 just like the one I had myself. Ever since then, I've NEVER stepped foot inside a car salesman's office again! (Thank you Craigslist!) And considering Betty's been a subscriber to my blog from the very start, I can honestly say that even after 24 years, I'm still helping her save money! Hey, what are friends for??

For those of you fortunate enough to know Betty as long as I have, you'll agree that this wedding was a bit sweeter and happier than your typical wedding. I for one, am overjoyed for her and I look forward to knowing Patrick better (I hear he's a Mac user so I already like him).

This is the first wedding I've attended since my Scott Robert training. As much as I wanted to go nuts with the D300s, I resisted. With all the other photographers firing away, I didn't want to add to the constant annoyance of rapid-fire shutter clicks everywhere during the ceremony. Plus, I think it's rude to get out of your seat to shoot if you weren't asked prior to do so. But let's say if my child was up there with the wedding party, well then I may not be able to control myself… (Mmmkay, C & B?)

So with Betty's permission, I would like to share these memories with you. Congratulations Betty and Patrick!

The pastor (and all the non-asian people) were from Ohio.

Does Hung seem a little TOO happy in this pic?

Steve asked me, "Where do you find all those great deals??"
The money I help them save will put their daughters through college.

I haven't seen Rita and Elaine in over 15 years. Both are married. They sorta still recognize me.

Well fed and rested.They brought their kids so they had plenty of leftover food on their table.

Kandace is happy because she drank four bowls of sharkfin soup.

Jerry tried to sneak off to the bathroom so he wouldn't have to speak.
Unfortunately he came back too soon and still got stuck with the microphone.

A little blurry – exactly how I remember Anna. It's been 30 years since I last teased, um saw her.
She refused to believe it's really me. I had to assure her I'm the real deal!