Sex Talk with Dr. Dan

For those of you who missed the last YFC meeting (Christine, Peggy, Veronica, Wayland, Wenna), boy did you miss a great meeting! In our continual study of the book, Men are Waffles. Women are Spaghetti, we talked about sex, and lots of it! Actually, Dr. Dan and his lovely wife did all the talking, we just sat in wide-eyed silence soaking it all in. It brought back memories of junior high learning about contraceptives.

Did you know?
Did you know that P.M.S. is actually a real thing and not some made up excuse? ...or at least Dr. Dan seems to think so. Even though there’s scientific evidence, I’m still not totally convinced. There are women I know who are a certain way year-round.

Did you know that the United States is the most sexually active nation in the whole world? Even more so than Sweden and France? And that the Japanese are the least active? I guess if you take your mind off of sex all the time, you can build some great TV’s and cars! No offense to my American-born Japanese readers (who are really American anyway). Just telling the facts.

Did you know that the average married couple has sex 98 times a year? Ninety-eight times! If my math is correct, that’s twice a week, every week, minus three weeks of vacation! Man, I need to start clearing off my calendar and play less Scrabble! The real eye-opener is when you think about it, if you’re only doing it 50 times, then there’s someone else doing it 146 times! Speaking of which...

After the lesson, Myron (aka Han Solo) quickly announced that Grace is expecting their fourth child in September! Maybe instead of being Han Solo, perhaps he should be known as Samson. All I can say to Myron is, “Don’t cut that hair!” And let’s not forget about Grace. With three kids and that breakneck schedule, she still makes time for Scrabble and reading my blog. Wow, I am indeed honored. Grace, you are truly amazing!

So back to the meeting. Dr. Dan delivered the lesson with utmost professionalism and a straight face. His Powerpoint was informative, complete with entertaining video clips from Everyone Loves Raymond that illustrates the sexual tension between husband and wife. We noticed that when discussing certain awkward topics, he tended to talk a little faster. Haha. At the end I commended Dr. Dan for his great seminar. His response was, “I can’t believe I said ‘ejaculation’ at church!”

See you at the next meeting!

YFC Valentine's Dinner

Saturday's dinner was at the San Leandro Black Angus. We all used that $37 dinner-for-two coupon you find in the Sunday papers. The meal included the above appetizer sampler, soup or salad, choice of prime rib, ribeye, New York steak, etc. and a dessert. Not a bad deal. I totally forgot to take a picture of the meat because I was too busy chomping.

It was a great meal, start to finish. And there was a lot of food! How could I tell? Fongpay actually had leftovers to take back.

So what was the best part of the meal? No kids. Period.

That night just happened to be Daniel's birthday. He's a lucky guy.
He's 3 years older than me and still has a great head of hair.

Speaking of hair, for those of you wondering (and been afraid to ask) about Myron's lovely locks, I got the real story. Apparently it's Grace's idea for him to grow it long because she likes the Han Solo look. Hmmm, Methinks he's already surpassed Han Solo and heading toward Chewbacca... But that's just me.

I heard from a fellow blogger that maybe one of these folks don't like their face posted anywhere online. I say you should be honored to be on my blog because I only post photos of good looking people. In fact, I often spend a little time cleaning up people's facial blemishes (zits, cold sores, blackheads, cracked lips, food stains, etc), so chances are, you'll look better here than in real life! Yes, you are welcome!

Thai'd the Knot

Oh man, oh man! I've been sitting on this news since Tuesday! My head is about to explode trying to keep this to myself while I gather evidence from this elusive man. Haven't even told Chrissy.

First let me tell you, ever since I started this blog, I've been reconnecting with old friends left and right. Those old friends always ask about other old friends but the ONE PERSON that they ask most about is Burt, to which I haven't had an answer. I've seen Burt maybe 4 times in the last 8 years. And he's been silent for the last two. In an earlier post I tried to lure him out, but no luck. So when I finally tracked him down on IM, what did he do? Without warning he unloads this mega upside-your-head, what-da... news on me! Total shock would be an understatement! My head is still spinning!

Yes my friends, Burt is a married man. You would think living in the land of Elvis chapels he would get hitched there. But no, he's been secretly wooing a girl in Thailand for the last year!

Back in the day we used to call these girls "G.U." meaning they were "geographically undesirable." And we really only meant the girls outside the east bay like across the bridge or Sacramento, not across the ocean. Boy, come to think of it, we were really cheap and lazy considering the price of gas and traffic conditions back then... But Burt's always been a traveler, no distance can keep him away from his sweetheart. In fact, it's only fitting that his official title at his job is Journeyman. And this time he's gone on an extreme journey, racking up some serious frequent flyer miles, and netting the ultimate prize!

I actually spoke to Burt on the phone because after he IM'd the news to me, I just about fell off my chair and my hands were shaking, literally unable type. This was BIG and I sooooo needed to tell someone!! But I wanted to wait for proof, I wanted to make sure. The photos finally arrived this morning.

So according to Burt, he met his wife while vacationing there last year. After several more visits, they got married this Spring. She's currently still in Thailand awaiting the completion of a love palace (house) that they are building there. Once the house in Thailand is completed, she will move to Vegas to live with Burt. The Thai house will serve as a vacation home (or special love getaway). Burt is anxiously awaiting her arrival so that they can also have a wedding in the U.S. (and populate his empty house). In the meantime, Burt continues to work graveyard shifts at Vons because if you can't be with her, you can at least share the same time zone.

Burt, I've waited so long for this day for you! Congratulations!

More Pictures
This morning (Friday), Burt sent me a few more shots to share.

The two guys are his groomsmen. Yes of course I'm upset. I should be in that picture, replacing that non-smiling guy!

A live pig! Now that's what I call a great wedding gift to the bride's family! None of that roasted pig nonsense where you have to divvy up all the pieces to all your relatives because you can't eat it all. With a live pig you can treat it as a pet first. When you get tired of it, then you kill it. Chop it up, stick it in freezer bags, and you'll be able to feed your family for months. You can also make your own sausages with the scraps. The gal in the pink dress is one of the bridesmaids (and future servant girl to King Burt).

Please leave your well wishes for Burt in the comments.

Back at Work

So here I am back at my desk, eating lunch in peace. I feel ok but not quite back into my normal routine –– I don't feel hungry at 11, I'm not sleepy at 2, and I'm not combing the breakrooms looking for pastries. Weird. Maybe I've become a healthier person. Maybe I've been rejuvenated. We'll see how long that lasts.

Everyone greeted me this week, that was nice. No one dared ask me if I missed them because they know they're just asking to get slammed! My boss is especially happy to see me, that is, until I asked her to put me on a 4-10 schedule. She said she'll think about it. Hmmm, it's not looking good since she's been avoiding eye contact with me ever since.

Got on a new carpool schedule this week with three new riders. There are now five of us riding from Stoneridge. Four of us alternate driving, but the fifth person, a BART employee that gets a car every other month, he drives for an entire month! So for the month of June, I don't need to drive at all! Awesome! I can catch up on some serious ZZZZ's, think about blog content, or watch a show on my ipod. I just need to remember my deodorant, because as the days get warmer, it can get quite cozy in that car.

In the car I'm very quiet and don't like to talk (yes, very hard to believe, but true). Reason is, 90% of the content is always work related. So and so is making this much, and so and so is getting promoted, blah blah blah. I could care less. I make about a third less than everyone and they're the ones complaining about being underpaid. The irony is killing me. Also, what I've noticed is that government employees love to talk about retirement. They're obsessed. They start calculating how many years they need to work to get the maximum benefit and so on. And the funny thing is, for most of them, retirement is still at least 20 years away! Pathetic.

People retire here on a biweekly schedule it seems. I can't tell you how many retirement cakes I've tasted in the last 2 years. All the usual cliches are spoken and the rest of us (not me) are jealous of their new found freedom. Dude, what's to be jealous of?? You want to trade places with him?? He's 65, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, etc., practically three quarters way to the grave. I like my situation much better thank you. I am not wishing to fast forward my life 25 years for that golden ticket. All that means is more free time for doctor appointments.

No more TV
Last week was an incredible week of television with all the season finales. I follow Desperate Housewives, Heroes, Dancing with the Stars and Lost. I even watched American Idol hoping to see who the "big" mystery star would be this year (last year was Prince) only to be disappointed finding out it was Bette Midler. Even at the height of her popularity with the movie, Beaches, she was never that exciting. Oh well. I did enjoy Blake's beat boxing with Doug E. Fresh, and also the Winans. The weirdest thing was seeing Marlee Matlin in the audience. Not to be insensitive, but isn't she deaf? Go figure. If you missed the show, you can download the MP4 file here (566mb). I even edited out all the commercials for your uninterrupted watching enjoyment.

The timing of the finales was good for us. This week I had to start work and Chrissy had to start transporting both boys to school and back, as Colby started preschool fulltime. So coming home with no shows to catch is kind of a blessing. It forces us to relax, spend time with the kids, and at times, even talk to each other. Imagine that!

Mother's Day Wiikend

Ever since Thanksgiving I've been trying to get my hands on a Nintendo Wii. I still regret not lining up with Chrissy's cousins the night before Black Friday in 30-degree weather at the mall. And I'm still upset that those cousins have not once invited us over to play! It's been 6 months now and the stores still can't get them stocked (because greedy people like Patty bought like 4 of them). So I've been combing Craigslist trying to find a good price on a used bundle. Note: Wii System is $250. Extra remote and nunchuk (required for multiplayer games) is $60. Total with tax is $335. So $300 seems like a realistic price target for something everyone wants.

Last week I finally found one in Livermore. The Wii with extra remote & nunchuk, 2 additional Wii games (with steering wheel), 7 additional Gamecube games, 2 Gamecube controllers, a memory card, and a cool Nintendo travel bag. $300. Some spoiled 13 year-old was secretly using his mom's email to post the ad and his dad's cell phone to sell it. I hooked up with his dad to make the deal. His dad was not happy at all considering he spent over $500 on it just 5 months ago. But by the looks of their toy collection, they seemed very wealthy so no bad feelings here. He honored the deal and I was thrilled.

So I'm coming home and wondering how Chrissy might react to me spending this much money on a toy. For the record, Chrissy has NEVER questioned, nagged, or frowned upon any of my purchases, great or small. She knows I'm not an impulsive shopper but instead, a shameless, low-balling bargain hunter. A true Craigslist predator. But $300 is still a lot of money. And some guilt started to creep in. But no way I was going to give this up. I've waited 6 months for this! So what was I going to do??

My solution was perfect. I decided to give the Wii to Chrissy for Mother's Day!

Before you roll your eyes (or bust up laughing), let me explain how perfect this is. First of all, Chrissy never plays video games with the boys (the quick thinking button action only frustrates her). So this will help her to be more willing to play with them and the boys will think she's cool--she already enjoys the bowling game quite a bit. Secondly, she's been saying (not me) that she needs more exercise. What better way to burn calories than to virtually punch out your sassy son? It's a great stress reliever too! And thirdly, because it's a gift, she not allowed to find out how much I spent! I tell you, I amaze myself sometimes!

On Saturday we hosted lunch for her side of the family and on Sunday we celebrated with my side. The Wii was hit on both days. Most people played it for the very first time. Regular video games can be so intimidating with all the buttons and sequences. But with the Wii, you just need to do what comes natural, like punching, swinging, driving, etc. Real easy stuff, great exercise and a real crowd pleaser. Below is a video of Dustin duking it out with his Uncle Ricky.



Mother's Day at CIBC
On Sunday's Mother's Day morning service, we were treated to a couple of performances by the children's Sunday School classes. Both Colby and Dustin participated and Colby's still singing that butterfly song to this day. If you can't see Colby, he's the one that's blocked by Pastor Jason's head. Thanks to Wayland for videotaping it for me (because I totally forgot).

11

Today is our 11 year wedding anniversary (as well as our 5 year anniversary to moving to Castro Valley). My original plan was to post an old wedding picture, but as I went through the old albums, I ran across some BETTER pics. The above photos were taken at our wedding banquet. Each table had a disposable camera where people can shoot some memorable shots--and are they memorable indeed! I'm not sure what's going on, but they're all either gagging on the peking duck buns, or they're foaming at the mouth. Hey, is that Patty in there? Man, she's everywhere!

The hot chick in this imaginary love triangle is Genie, my former roommate in college (who is a loyal reader of my blog). Jim is getting married in September to Genie. Oops. His fiancee is spelled Jeanie. My bad. Burt is still in Vegas. I only hear from him once every two years. Last I heard he was still at Safeway. Maybe he'll leave a comment after seeing this. Yo Burt, give a shout so we know you're still alive, aight?!

So what's the plan tonight? I don't know. Eleven is such a ho-hum number. We would like to go out for a nice quiet dinner, but with two boys and an infant, "nice and quiet" don't really exist. I think we'll just stay home and maybe order some take-out, or fire up the bbq. Fortunately for me, I scored enough points on Valentine's Day so I can slack off today :) Also, I'm especially tired this week because I've been working feverishly on a special project the last five days. I'll share that project with you next week.

Red Egg Party Buffet
Last Saturday we attended a party for Zachary (son of Andrew) at the New Empire Buffet in exotic Livermore, land of dried bushes and broken concrete. The restaurant, tucked in a mini mall, was surprising clean and somewhat empty on a Saturday (if it wasn't for Costco, Chinese people wouldn't know Livermore even existed). The food was quite good, but the only problem was that since it wasn't crowded, the food didn't turn around quick enough. They had this mongolian bbq bar where you load up your plate with raw meat, uncooked veggies, and your choice of sauces. You give it to the chef and he stir-fries it in front of you. Very tasty! I would come back for this alone! The only weird thing was that the chef had a tip jar. Hello, it's a buffet! I can understand a tip jar for the sushi guy where you ask him to make a special hand roll, but this stir-fry guy essentially just flips your food back and forth a few times... Heck, my boys could've done it. Then when he hands you your food, he places the plate on top of the large tip jar--such blatant pandering! Most of the time he's just standing there, or sweeping the floors. Is he an independent contractor?

I got a chance to catch up with Hanford and Marj and met their 3 boys. Haven't seen them in 10 years. They still look great, and Hanford still has a great head of hair! Also they're smart (like me). They bring video games for the boys to play so then us adults can enjoy our time (and food) longer. If you look in the background, you'll see Hing holding Justine. Justine was passed on from one person to another for about 80% of the time we were there, which was great. As time goes by, she'll get heavier and crankier, and it will be harder to find people to hold her, so we're taking full advantage of that benefit now.

Many of you have not seen Patrick in like 10 years. Well I'm happy to report he is alive and well (and potent). He lives/works in the south bay with his wife, Veronica and 10-month old Mason.

We arrived at noon and left at 3. When you eat and talk, you don't realize how much you've eaten. Let's just say I wasn't hungry again until lunchtime the next day.

Valentine's Day

Upon doing my research on planning this annual ritual I came across this great article about Valentine's Day. It's about what women expect on this special day and how not to disappoint. It's very well written and a fun read:

How to avoid sleeping on the couch

If you're stressing over this, and the florist is crowded, remember Costco has flowers for cheap. A dozen roses (in various colors) cost $13.99. A deluxe mixed bouquet is $14.99 and an arrangement in a vase is $35.99. Go early (like at lunch) because if they run out when you go after work, you'll really be stressed!

If you have some creativity, you can make your own card. All you need is too find a nice photo and have access to a color printer. It doesn't have to be great, as long as you showed thought and effort in doing it. She'll appreciate whatever cheesy ideas you may have. And if you're not the super romantic type (uptight, unexpressive, Asian male, like me), make it a card from the family. You'll still get all the credit, and your kids won't feel left out. Like the article said, effort, will score lots of points. Funny, in the past I did make her some CD with 80's music...

If you're super busy with meetings all day, you can (at the very least) send your honey a FREE instant electronic card to show that you're thinking of her. She'll think, "What a nice surprise. I'm sure this took at least 1o minutes of thought." Here is a link you can use:

Top Ten Free E-Card Sites

Hopefully you'll go home tonight with anticipation and not trepidation. If you think your man needs some encouragement, feel free to point them here. Or I can always send them a note on your behalf. Happy Valentine's Day.