My 5/40 Club

On Wednesday I attended the funeral of my dear friend's mom. In the photo above, I am pictured in the company of my longest lasting friendships. Hard to believe, but I have been friends with each of these guys for over 40 years. The only guy missing is Chris (the original Fongpay), whom I see every week. All in all, I still keep in touch with five friends that I've grown up with since kindergarten. I am in the 5/40 Club.

No one actually enjoys a funeral, but to put a positive on it, you'll get to reunite with distant friends/relatives all in one place and relive those cherished memories you share with them. Seeing dear friends during the most depressing times really help take the sting out of the mourning—if even for only an hour. When I got the email Friday for the funeral, I'm sure I did exactly what these other guys did, I moved my schedule around to be sure I would be there. There was no way I was going to miss it. That's what best friends do.

As one of their wives mentioned to me, friendships like these are extremely rare, and to have five of them, that's practically unheard of. People move, switch churches, and generally have a tendency to just move on with no looking back. Sure we keep tabs on each other via Facebook, but making occasional online comments will never replace face to face interaction. Whenever one of them are in town, we make it a priority to get together.

Unlike today, 40 years ago, all our families stayed put. First generation immigrants have fewer job opportunities so they rarely get out of Oakland. The result is a cohesive group of children that grew up together for 12 years. Throw in Sunday School and Friday fellowships, then you'll also get the spiritual influence and moral accountability that comes with it. It's no accident that three of them are in full-time ministry. I won't tell you how many times I've been faced with decisions to do something bad only to decline because of my accountability and reputation to my church friends. Having experienced temptation, I cannot stress the importance of a steady biblical influence throughout your entire childhood and life. I think our only transgressions growing up were driving without a license and shooting off illegal fireworks.

My oldest is in seventh grade. Already he has at least six Christian friends he has known since kindergarten. My hope is as my children grow, they too will someday be in their own 5/40 clubs. For that to happen, we need to stay put, and our friends have to stay put. We all invest time in each other which hopefully eliminates any desire to leave. If you choose to leave, wherever you go, it would probably take a decade to nurture and replace the relationships you're leaving behind. I mean honestly, you ain't never gonna find another friend like me! Haha!

Right now we are really blessed with our young families group. I think it is the best it has ever been! We have about 15 consistent families with most parents being here 10-40 years. We meet weekly for lunch, monthly for small and large groups, and annually for vacations. Because of these consistent events, our kids have developed deep, lasting friendships, rooted in biblical teachings. I'm sure someday when my children are facing trials, they'll be glad to have these friendships to lean upon.

"A friend's a friend forever if the Lord's a Lord of them." - Michael W. Smith

Social justice, ghetto style

WARNING: Lots of violence and obscenities. Turn down volume because action speaks louder than words.

This video was uploaded yesterday from the 10 a.m. Muni bus in SF Chinatown.

As someone who grew up in Oakland, I've been intimidated on the bus countless times. So to see someone fight back, I feel a sense of justice finally being served (30 years later). Like, finally... someone standing up to thug. I know this is a very rare occasion, and violence is never the answer, especially when the Bible tells us that vengeance belongs to the Lord and that we should turn the other cheek... But I do feel the need to defend ourselves and not be a doormat to the scum of the earth. So please forgive me for taking a little bit of pleasure in seeing the old Chinese lady open a can of whoop-a** on the unsuspecting aggressor – Like did I see a flying kick in there??

Now had this been in Oakland on AC Transit, and the roles were reversed, you know someone is gonna get killed. True that!

On the serious side, obviously an assault occurred. But Muni is more concerned in investigating why the driver didn't report the incident than the crime itself. Unbelievable! Oh yeah, and I hear a "significant number" of cameras on Muni buses don't work. Beware.

LINK: Matier and Ross

We're all connected

So not two days after my post about Andrew, I was approached by three people who think we might know him, but not sure. Then today at church during IBF, Ken displayed Andrew's photo and story on the big screen! Apparently, Andrew is the son of David (?) and Joyce Mark, who used to attend CIBC back in the 80's. I grabbed the above photo from their website. I don't remember them, but perhaps some of you older folks may.

One of my readers emailed saying she actually babysat Andrew in our church nursery! Wow, it's amazing how far reaching the CIBC connection is! We are truly all a part of God's family.

Ken recommended we all visit and read their blog. Like me, Ken was touched by their story and just felt the need to share with everyone. I hope you would take the time to read some of their entries.

As you know, Andrew passed away on Saturday. His pastor spoke about him today. It's a real powerful sermon. You can hear the message here: Reflections on the Suffering and Death of a 27 Year-Old Man.

Life

Today I was introduced to Andrew and Grace through a friend's blog. Wow. What a sobering evening tonight has been. I ask that you pray for them.

http://www.graceandrew.blogspot.com/

I don't know Andrew or Grace. From what I can tell, they've been married for 5-6 years and have two young children. Andrew has been battling cancer for the last two years, and they've been blogging about the entire experience so that we "can learn and grow" with them. Sadly, based on this morning's blog, he's about to go at any moment now. I believe he is 27.

The entries can be heart-wrenching to read, but I'm constantly amazed at their unwavering faith, as well as the peace that He has given them during this unfathomable time. Their strength and courage speaks volumes of their walk with the Lord.

All in all, it just reminds me of how fragile life is, and how God can have such drastically different plans for each of us. Just reading Andrew's daily ordeals made me more aware of the many things I take for granted, like my health and my family. I just assume they'll always be there for me.

I cannot imagine what it feels like to be Andrew right now. Just two weeks ago he was still actively blogging. But now he may already be gone. I just met him and now I'll miss him. I only wish I had found his blog earlier. Thank you for your story, Andrew.

Freaky Friday

Thanks to Ray for the picture above. I'm utterly speechless. So let me cut and paste something I read from another blog:

Have a safe weekend, everyone. Whether you dress up and go to a party, or stay home and read about the Reformation, take a moment to do something real. Have a meaningful conversation with an old friend, pray for the election, thank God for His blessings, help a neighbor. Then kick back and eat an entire bag of candy corn, realizing that even in the midst of pagan holidays, a sketchy economy and a divisive election, God is indeed good.

And please remember to pray for Pastor Ray, as he continues to minister to the sheep in his flock :)