Chinese drivers

Helmets are for sissys!

Who Fong Paid??

I suspect some of you will appreciate this more than others... But you have to admit, the dude got skills.

We wish you a Merry Christmas

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Friday Fun: DudePerfect

Yes, it is all real. And better yet, they are all followers of Jesus. Read about their story and see more videos at their website.

http://dudeperfect.com/

Left on the cutting room floor

Well you won't be seeing my face gracing the walls of our bus and rail cars any time soon! I was skipped over for the woman below. They said I didn't look friendly enough. And that I lack sincerity and don't command public respect. Even though that's not exactly what they said, I'm sure that's what they meant.

Cantonese Boy

Thanks Matt! Hilarious!

You win some, you Lews some...

If you blink, you may miss my sudden burst of super-human speed! Sorry, Lew Family, but you're no match for the Fongs :) We'll look forward to a rematch next time. But even if you do win, don't expect me to mention it on this blog.

There was one more challenge of the moms, but I'm respecting Diana's explicit instructions to not post her video, or photo, or even mention her name on my blog.

In case you're wondering, we were at Joshie's 3rd birthday party.

I was told that this is the front-runner to be my future son-in-law.

Hmm, not scoring many points here...

Health advisory: Cover your mouth

Related link:
Swine Flu: Your Questions Answered

Friday Fun - Bruce Lee plays Ping Pong

Musical Monday - Mario Kart Love Song

You be my princess and I'll be your toad
I'll follow behind you on rainbow road
Protect you from red shells wherever we go
I promise.

No one will touch us if we pick up a star
If you spin out you can ride in my car
When we slide together we generate sparks
In our wheels and our hearts

Chorus:
The finish line
Is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
So our love will never end
Let's go again

The blue shell is coming so I'll go ahead
If you hang behind, it'll hit me instead
But never look back cause I'm down but not dead
I'll catch up to you

Don't worry about Bowser or DK
Eat this glowing mushroom
And they'll all fade away

Chorus (x2)

To the mushroom cup
And the flower cup
And the star cup
And the reverse cup

Juicy Fat Friday

Lately I noticed that many of my Facebook friends like to update their status with something food related. Some examples are: "XX is stuffed from a BBQ." or "XX needs to go work out (but can't move from eating too much)." or "XX fed her kids scones and whip cream for dinner." And why not? Food is the universal language for living the good life. That's why people love to take photos of their food. It's a subtle of way of bragging, saying "Yeah, I can ingest 2000 calories in one sitting and you can't!"

Below are some photos I found at the website: thisiswhyyourefat.com. Seeing that many of my readers love junk food and don't necessarily believe in moderation, this website will either scare you into healthier living or offer you tons of menu ideas for your next party. After viewing some of the entrees, all of a sudden those deep fried twinkies don't seem that bad anymore. I can almost smell the grease!

And no, I'm not calling anyone fat, that's just the name of the website. If you think you're fat, blame your parents. Fact is, if you're not eating well now, here's proof that you can be eating a lot worse! So if anything, you should be feeling a lot better about yourself right about now. Yes, you are welcome!

Other than the McNuggetini, I don't think there was anything on that website I wouldn't try. That chocolate covered bacon burger looked especially tasty. Below are a couple of my favorites.

Turbaconucken – chicken stuffed in duck stuffed in turkey wrapped in bacon.

Krispy Kreme bacon cheddar burgers

Pretty cool huh? He used a wired cheese cutter to get the cream off.

You can see the rest of the scrumptious entrees at the link below. So what's for lunch today?

Thisiswhyyourefat.com

Friday Fun - Star Wars A cappella

Only the nerds can appreciate this. The first one is the one floating all over Facebook. The second one is the original. Both are hilarious. Turn up the volume (unless you're at work, then put on your earphones). And yes, all the music is John Williams'. Can you name them all?

Friday Fun - Women drivers

I just saw this on someone's Facebook page. Hilarious!!

Merry Christmas from the Fongs

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Hurry and watch it now. Video expires on January 15. Hmm, should I buy it?

Friday Fun

LINK

Freaky Friday

Thanks to Ray for the picture above. I'm utterly speechless. So let me cut and paste something I read from another blog:

Have a safe weekend, everyone. Whether you dress up and go to a party, or stay home and read about the Reformation, take a moment to do something real. Have a meaningful conversation with an old friend, pray for the election, thank God for His blessings, help a neighbor. Then kick back and eat an entire bag of candy corn, realizing that even in the midst of pagan holidays, a sketchy economy and a divisive election, God is indeed good.

And please remember to pray for Pastor Ray, as he continues to minister to the sheep in his flock :)

Yearbook Yourself

Yes, I have absolutely nothing better to do in my life than to do this.

LINK: Yearbookyourself.com

My wife is crushed.

I've been trying to tell her for years! She wouldn't believe me 10 years ago when I told her about Rosie either... Remember, I worked in the crotch heart of West Hollywood for five years! Every year the gay parade ends and disperses into the parking lot of my Pavilions (Safeway) store. I observed and studied their mannerisms as they giggled and fondled my vegetables... So it's safe to say my eye is a bit more keen than others. Man, he looks more and more like a woman every time I see him! If you took away his glasses and put on some lipstick, you'll get Annette Benning!

It's OK honey, I don't think all the guys on Dancing with the Stars are gay...

And speaking of DWTS, has Cheryl been working out (at the buffet line)? Is it any coincidence that she gets partnered with a big strong athlete rather than Cody or Lance? Good thing for Maurice is that the heavy lifting won't happen until freestyle week at the finals.

Friday Fun: World History 101

World History 101

For those of you who slept through World History 101, here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as Nancy-boys.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood actor, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, firemen, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Friday Fun

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications (which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0).

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

———————-

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: “ithoughtyoulovedme.exe” and try to download Tears 6.2 (and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update). If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the application Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 status. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Pot Belly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (It runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also, do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7

Good Luck,

Tech Support