Remember
last year when Blah Blah Bonkers came and bragged about wasting all those stimulus funds on a fleet of overpriced buses? Well, the fleet started to arrive late last year. Since then, I've been tasked to follow the publicity road show, as well as take beauty shots for promotional purposes. It's one of those rare occasions where you'll experience a shiny new empty bus that still has the new-car smell (rather than the usual b.o./urine smell). No graffiti, no slashed seats, no sticky floors... Just an immaculate pretty bus.
To be fair, our buses are visibly cleaner (and safer) than those of AC Transit where I spent my terrified childhood on. Not surprisingly, our only dangerous routes are the ones that connect directly to AC Transit (Great Mall and Fremont BART). And don't expect to see these shiny hybrids doing the high school pickups either, nope. No greasy, foul-mouth, tattooed, pregnant, saggy-pants, fatherless dropouts are allowed, just decent working class adults and seniors.
The above photo was a press event where they bragged about spending every last dime of the funds, further plunging your children's future into inescapable debt. On the bright side though, while your kids are working to pay off the deficit, they'll most likely be dead.
Rep. M. Honda is laughing at how Americans just can't build hybrids as well as the Japanese. But as a democrat, he finds comfort knowing that if they break down in five years, Obummer will still be in office and "we'll just have to buy another fleet!"
Rep. Zooey Luvgun, "Hurry with the photo sonny, I need to go censure my buddy
Charlie, or as we call it, 'grill some chuck steak!'"
For the record, I did not design this bus wrap. My designs are usually edgy with a hint of intimidation and danger. But General Merciless prefers the beautiful natural scenery as a reminder of the world he once left behind when he became a warlord of the underworld.
I don't often get to leave my cell. So to make sure I don't escape, they send my up the lift and then leave for lunch. Fortunately we had good weather that day.
Another wrap I did not design – can you tell? The blue in the sky doesn't even match the blue on the stripes – a big design no-no! And the green logo? It's massive and doesn't match anything either! I think the General is colorblind from living all these years in a dark cave. He has the eyes of a dog. Next time, I'll show you the bus I myself designed for our next fleet.
Here is a pure unadulterated bus. I felt like taking off my shoes before boarding. When you own the bus, you own the road. I told the driver to just stop it here in the middle of this turnabout. Who cares if cars have to drive around us, I'll just photoshop them out if need be.
Yeah, baby got back! I bet you never thought the rear of a bus could look this sexy!
As we were scoping out places to shoot, I saw this new building off the freeway. It is still fenced off but I told the driver to go A-Team and crash through the gates because I desperately wanted a shot with those palm trees!
Once inside, I saw a sign that this site was managed by a
company my friend works for. 'Cool' I thought, if I get in trouble, I'll just drop his name and say he gave me permission :)
Yep, not a soul in sight. Like paradise. I asked the driver if it was possible to do donuts on a bus. He was not sure. I asked if he wanted to try. He declined. I asked if he knew how to make the tires smoke. He said he might know how but didn't want to try. Oh well. I tried. We'll just have to settle for these pics.
