My latest assignment: press photographer

Last week at the eleventh hour, I was summoned to be official press photographer (although I prefer to be known as a photo-journalist) for some big event involving the members of the Enormously Vile Infamous Leaders. Apparently some important Mega-Lord was visiting. As always, the Captain can't get her act together and is too cheap to hire a pro... So I'm sent out with my five year-old, mostly-working, half-dependable D70. Enjoy.

My handiwork is visible on all three vehicles. You already know I designed the community bus.

Remember my green logo?

My first buswrap design. This bus is like a rolling classroom (with flat screen tv's) educating seniors and the disabled about taking public transportation. Hmm, I wonder who's inside...

We readily offer crash courses in driving. And we only hire the best drivers. You're not qualified unless you're able to make the bus look like this.

OMG!! Is that really Senator Blablah Bonkers??!! She's so much taller on television.

Reporter: Um Senator... Senator... Hey, this isn't really her! We've been tricked! It's a wax dummy! Oh wait, it's breathing...
Bonkers: Sorry boys, I was just having a rigor mortis moment. What? You think it's easy living with ice in your veins??

Henchman: You see Senator, this motor can shred a person into a hundred unrecognizable pieces. Now we just have to figure out how to get Carly to stand in front of the bus..."
Mayor Chucky: She's meeting with me next week. We can make it look like an accident.

Reporter: Mr Mayor, what are your plans beyond your term? Will you run for re-election?
Mayor Chucky: I'm currently in talks – or may I say "grunts" – with Hollywood for the next Addams Family movie. They think I'm a shoo-in for Lurch!

Bonkers: Let me tell you all, Obummer is a wimp! That's right, I said it! It was MY idea to waste these stimulus dollars for a fleet of unneeded hybrid buses and Prius vehicles to combat that ludicrous global warming concept. Yes, mark my words, this will be MY legacy! Because after I'm long gone and after the hybrids become obsolete... your children, and your children's children... they will all continue to remember me. How's that you ask? Because they will still be paying off the bill!! Muwahahahahahaha!!!!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, with last week's crushing defeat in Massachusetts, is it true your party has lost touch with not only Republicans but Independents also? What can you do to reach across to the other side... to let them know you understand their frustration and feel their pain?
Bonkers: Quite frankly, what you are asking is impossible. I absolutely CAN NOT do that. I mean, how can you expect me to feel for the other half of the country when on most days I can't even feel the other half of my body?!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, as a tireless champion for a woman's right to choose and protecting the right to partial birth and late-term abortions... in your opinion, when is a fetus considered to be a human being?
Bonkers: When it votes Democrat!