Poor Jon. Poor Tony.

So did you watch Dancing with the Stars last night? It's week 2 and believe it or not, I've watch every episode so far. This season's 11 contestants are the most intriguing thus far. Personally, I'm rooting for Evan because he's the most likeable (and I don't even care if you were to tell me he's gay). Evan all the way! Many of the others are either too snotty, or too slutty, or just has that yuck factor. But today I'm only here to talk about one, Kate Gosselin.

I've never seen her reality show, Jon & Kate Plus 8, but I've heard plenty of the demise of the show/marriage from the tabloids and news. I mean, who hasn't? Naturally, the public would sympathize with Kate, while victimizing Jon as the no-good cheating, absent father that abandoned the family. But after last night's spotlight of Kate's meltdown, I actually feel sorry for Jon. I'm actually amazed Jon stayed with her that long. And those poor kids...

This woman Kate is insane! What a piece of work! She says, "I love how you teach but you're not taking into consideration how I learn." Translation: "Everything you say is right but I'm too much of a psycho control-freak to care."

Her partner is Tony – arguably the nicest, soft-spoken, most patient dance partner in the show – and she drove him to quit. Wow! Good luck on your love life after this show. Any potential suitors have been given the green light to run! It's obvious to everyone but herself when she says repeatedly, "I don't get it."

Unfortunately, this unofficial YouTube video shrunk the actual performance to promote another site, but believe me, you missed nothing. Even my wife said "she was painful to watch." Honestly, I've seen Chinatown merchants swing a bag of rice with more elegance. Poor Tony. Hopefully tonight she'll get voted off.

And to you husbands out there, I encourage you to sit through this video. By the end of the clip, I guarantee you'll love your wife even more. If not, then at least you'll find comfort knowing you're not alone (although Jon got out). God bless your soul.

To watch the entire episode, go to ABC.com.

Dear Faithful Readers

I apologize for the long absence. I know you come here week after week looking for insight and entertainment only to be disappointed the past month. I'm sorry to have left a void in your workday. And I know your dinner conversation has suffered during my absence… I know how you feel. It just isn't fair. It's like when I was in college and there was this cute girl in lecture hall. Every day I would try to grab a seat closer to her hoping she would notice me. Then a few weeks into the quarter when I finally score the seat right next to her, I notice she's pregnant… OK, so it's not really related, but disappointment nonetheless!

Like I noted in an earlier post, Blogger is blocked here in the dungeon. And for me, my blogging comes in spontaneous spurts. If I get an idea, I'll need to post it immediately. Otherwise, when I get home, my energy is quickly sapped by a little three-headed six-legged monster, and then even the most gallant efforts are gone. Without that instant direct-connect at work, my once-spirited lifeline to the outside world is severely crippled.

Also, my life hasn't been very interesting lately. Haven't gone anywhere, no photo assignments, zero free food… I mean why blog unless I have something of value to offer?? Isn't the whole point of blogging to show how much better my life is than yours? (And then to follow up showing how much worse it is also??) Quite the quandary. I'm reduced to being just like everyone else.

And then there's peer pressure, or may I say, the lack of… Yeah, don't get mad at me, just look at my once-vibrant community of bloggers. When was the last time they posted? I want to know whether it's Inconceivable that the Sensible Stamper still has any sense. Are they still Living the Dream or have they dropped out of the Urban Race because they ran out of Kash?! Sadly, their once-great blogging is now cheapened and repackaged as Facebook and Twitter updates. Sigh (don't get me started). Don't they realize how much of an inspiration they were to me?? How I relied on them for encouragement and banter? Like Jerry Maguire would say, "You complete me."

So for now I'm just a lonely prisoner rambling by myself. Perhaps it'll get better. Maybe you'll invite me for dinner, take me on a trip, watch my kids for a week…. you know, give me something great to blog about... because I'm NOT going to stinkin' Africa just to have content to post (sorry, nothing personal, Ray). Or maybe, just maybe, my fellow bloggers will start blogging again...? Perhaps it is me that needs to offer them encouragement and inspiration. Maybe it's me that needs to complete them... Time will tell.

Our first snow trip

Last weekend we went to the snow for the very first time. My kids have never touched snow and I myself haven't touched snow in 30 years. Can you believe it? Yep, I think the last time I went to the snow was with YTF. Fortunately we found a couple of seasoned families to accompany us newbies.

Some of you may be thinking that I really missed out on the fun of skiing/snowboarding all these decades... and maybe you are right to some degree. But the way I see it, those fun activities come at a steep cost that don't justify the fun. Honestly, I've heard way too many stories of people getting stuck in the snow/traffic resulting in seven hours of travel time and just the thought of being trapped in a car that long with my screaming kids would kill me. And then you have to buy the gear, and take lessons, and take a day off from work... And did I mention the risk of injuries? Just last month two CIBCers had a dislocated shoulder and broken arm! Um, no thank you. I survived this long without swimming, I think I can do the same without skiing.

Thanks to Hebron, we were able to secure a wonderful cabin in Twain Harte. The grand total for two nights rental, food and gas came out to about $270/family. The 2.5-hour, 125-mile scenic drive was a breeze with zero traffic and no need for chains. In fact, we didn't even see snow until 15 minutes before our destination. I'm guessing by next month most of the snow will be gone.

The kids, aged 3 to 9, played very well together. Dustin has been dying to play in the snow. He would often tell me how his friends always go up to the snow every year and how come we don't. And how they've gone to Disneyland every year and us only once... My response would be, "Sorry Dustin, but who said life was fair? If life was fair, your friend's parents would've given birth to twins and you would be born into their family. And it's not just unfair to you... If life was fair for me, I would have children that appreciate being part of our family and not whiny little ingrates that wants what everyone else has." Life is so unfair.

The first day the incredible Hung shoveled a nice long slope for us just above the cabin. And here was my first interaction with snow in 30 years! It was an absolute blast!

The second day we discovered a giant open space below the cabin.
We called this place the "lake".

Lining up for the sled race.

We had nice sunny weather in the low 60s, I didn't have to wear my jacket once.

I wonder if those sleds have a weight restriction.

Both nights I waited until the final (north) round to stage my miraculous comeback.
Them women don't know what hit them!

The view from atop the giant slope. Everyone vacated at lunch time
and we owned the mountain. Sweet!

We owned the lake too. There was no one else in sight.

The gentle slope on the lake was perfect for the younger kids.

My van seats 8, but we easily fit 12. All the slopes were within walking distance
but we were quite pooped after several hours of playing.

After a long day, half of us passed out immediately.

Below is a three minute video that summarizes the weekend.
It was such a delight, we're already planning for next year.

Photo credit to most photos: HM

Free Grand Slam at Denny's again

Just like last year, Denny's will once again offer a free Grand Slam breakfast on Tuesday, February 9. And like last year, I'm sure to be there again. It will be a great start to my long day of sitting in a courthouse listening to boring testimony. Yes, I am currently on jury duty.

Follow the link for more details:

http://www.dennys.com/superbowl/splash1.html

My latest assignment: press photographer

Last week at the eleventh hour, I was summoned to be official press photographer (although I prefer to be known as a photo-journalist) for some big event involving the members of the Enormously Vile Infamous Leaders. Apparently some important Mega-Lord was visiting. As always, the Captain can't get her act together and is too cheap to hire a pro... So I'm sent out with my five year-old, mostly-working, half-dependable D70. Enjoy.

My handiwork is visible on all three vehicles. You already know I designed the community bus.

Remember my green logo?

My first buswrap design. This bus is like a rolling classroom (with flat screen tv's) educating seniors and the disabled about taking public transportation. Hmm, I wonder who's inside...

We readily offer crash courses in driving. And we only hire the best drivers. You're not qualified unless you're able to make the bus look like this.

OMG!! Is that really Senator Blablah Bonkers??!! She's so much taller on television.

Reporter: Um Senator... Senator... Hey, this isn't really her! We've been tricked! It's a wax dummy! Oh wait, it's breathing...
Bonkers: Sorry boys, I was just having a rigor mortis moment. What? You think it's easy living with ice in your veins??

Henchman: You see Senator, this motor can shred a person into a hundred unrecognizable pieces. Now we just have to figure out how to get Carly to stand in front of the bus..."
Mayor Chucky: She's meeting with me next week. We can make it look like an accident.

Reporter: Mr Mayor, what are your plans beyond your term? Will you run for re-election?
Mayor Chucky: I'm currently in talks – or may I say "grunts" – with Hollywood for the next Addams Family movie. They think I'm a shoo-in for Lurch!

Bonkers: Let me tell you all, Obummer is a wimp! That's right, I said it! It was MY idea to waste these stimulus dollars for a fleet of unneeded hybrid buses and Prius vehicles to combat that ludicrous global warming concept. Yes, mark my words, this will be MY legacy! Because after I'm long gone and after the hybrids become obsolete... your children, and your children's children... they will all continue to remember me. How's that you ask? Because they will still be paying off the bill!! Muwahahahahahaha!!!!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, with last week's crushing defeat in Massachusetts, is it true your party has lost touch with not only Republicans but Independents also? What can you do to reach across to the other side... to let them know you understand their frustration and feel their pain?
Bonkers: Quite frankly, what you are asking is impossible. I absolutely CAN NOT do that. I mean, how can you expect me to feel for the other half of the country when on most days I can't even feel the other half of my body?!

Reporter: Senator Bonkers, as a tireless champion for a woman's right to choose and protecting the right to partial birth and late-term abortions... in your opinion, when is a fetus considered to be a human being?
Bonkers: When it votes Democrat!

My first princess party

Earlier this month I attended my first princess party at Super Franks to celebrate Tia's birthday. I've always heard of these princess parties but with raising two boys, I've never gotten a chance to witness one. Now that Justine is three, I'm getting the feeling we'll be attending more of these girlie parties.

This is a huge departure from those Pump it Up and Chuck E Cheese parties. Energy and chaos is replaced with manners and beauty. Less stress, calmer, and better food too.

No running, jumping, or yelling, just little well-behaved girls and their gushing parents romping about. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before! There must have been some sort of drugs permeating the air.

In the dressing room behind the castle, the girls fight for select an outfit and gets their hair done by the professional princess.

The girls are then given instructions on how to be a proper little princess. How to lead on boys to make them do things for you and how to dump them while faking the tears. That boy was the test subject.

Each princess is then individually introduced with their princess wish. Justine's princess wish is to have her brothers live with someone else.

Last minute instructions before eating. "Pizza is to be properly eaten with a fork and knife." That poor lonely knight will grow up wishing these pictures never resurface again.

I don't need no stinkin' fork and knife!

Yes, I am a princess and I will have you wrapped around my little finger!

Christmastime (long overdue)

Sorry for the delay, I meant to get it up sooner.

Shot from approx. 70 ft. away in 720HD with the incredible Canon Powershot SX20is.
(Thanks, Wong See Mo)

Dropbox - A must have for multiple computers

Do you have multiple computer at home? Or do you always take your work home with you on a jump drive? Or do you email yourself files so you can access from another computer? Your solution: Dropbox.

I recently started using Dropbox and it's great. I can upload/download files from my computer, laptop and iPhone. And I always know where the most up-to-date file is. It is fully integrated into my operating system, so it's just listed as another folder in my home folder. Other than the first time setting it up, there's no logging in, just instant access as if it was resident on your hard drive.

This cloud-computing service is a stripped down version of Apple's $99 MobileMe, but it's free for the first 2gb of storage. After that, it's $9.99/mo. for 50gb and $19.99 for $100gb.

Learn more about and download your Dropbox here: https://www.dropbox.com/tour

So are you REALLY a PC??

Here's a shout out to all my Chinese peecee readers. I just ran across this ad this morning and HAD to ask one question: Are the people at Microsoft nuts?? Are they really that clueless?? Okay, that was two questions.

Do they really think that featuring this handsome fella is a positive representation of the "pc" people? Do they think this will really drive sales or reconvert Mac switchers? Yes dude, I totally believe Windows 7 was your idea. And I do believe that Windows 7 was made for people like you, just like parenting classes and tetanus shots.

I mean really, if Microsoft bought General Mills, I could only imagine what kind of social rejects would be gracing the Wheaties boxes – Dennis Rodman? If Microsoft was smart, they would parade this guy to all the Apple Stores just to drive customers away. And what the heck is he buying? Looks like vinyl at Rasputin's.

Question: so are mohawks making a comeback? I've seen a couple lately. Honestly I see no benefits of looking like a freak unless you want a career delivering pizzas. And even if it were making a comeback, I'm not sure it's working with this particular guy. Maybe he needs some piercings or tats to complete the look.

Sure, he's younger and hipper than John Hodgeman of the "I'm a Mac" commercials, but I just don't see normal, civilized, non-skateboarding-trailer-punk people wanting to be more like him. Those castoffs are already on Windows because OSX won't sync their Zunes!

And the worst thing? He's Asian!! Is there any other ethnicity that is sure to fail as trying to be anything remotely non-law-abiding! This guy looks like a former playground bully that never grew up and still likes beating up nerds. PC's beating up on fellow pc's – that's gotta suck.

Though I saw this ad on BostonHerald.com, my guess is it was originally aimed for the Yakuza-wannabe crowd in Japan or the gangs in Chinatown. Sadly, here in the United States, Wiliam Hung would've been the best choice. Sigh.

I'm sorry, but some pc people just need to remain as pc people.

Hello outside world...

A few of you have inquired about my lack of blogging or my inconsistent blogging the last few months, and I thank you for your concern. My life has been busy and eventful as usual, and there's lots going on at my job, but my communications have been crippled. Yes, I've been cut off from blogging at work.

Back in October, Godfather Merciless dropped the hammer and blocked all internet access to all social networking sites including my blogger site, Facebook, and Scrabble! – my one and only joy around here. Yup, all gone! He realized that all these external sites were providing an unnecessary source of happiness and hope... all of which are detrimental to the corporate morale code. In fact, happiness goes directly against our company motto: "If you are cheerful, you better be fearful!" Happy people have a tendency to disappear around here.

To further push his message across, last week I was summoned to attend the meeting of the Enormously Vile Infamous Leaders. Together with the Godfather, Captain, Sarge, and Major, we snaked down to the darkest depths of the underworld. I was told to bring my camera to capture a few beheadings to serve as a warning to my fellow inmates of the consequences of any illegal outside access. (The picture above is all I dare to publish. It is shot far from the back to spare you from seeing these hideous beings up front.)

Right now, the only way I can get this blog out is to bribe one of the prison guards with contraband. In return I get temporary secret access. But to keep the bribes going, I would need to further stock up on cigarettes and toilet paper…

So yes, I'm still alive. And hopefully I can find time to keep on blogging. The problem is, most of my blogging is done spur of the moment and on the fly. Without instant publishing abilities, I don't know if my material can come out on a timely basis. And when I get home, I'm instantly swarmed by the demands of three little monsters. Sigh. So please be patient, and I thank you for visiting.