Free Onion Rings this weekend at Burger King

http://www.bk.com

It's alive! It's my creation!

If you're in the south bay or Fremont, you may have spotted some new buses invading the streets and highway. They have a bold, menacing design, that makes all other buses look downright impotent. Our secret code name for it was UBT, which stood for "Urban Bloodbath Transport." So look out, my latest creation is crashing a neighborhood near you!

My initial designs were mostly black with just a slight splattering of blood color. I think it reflected the mood outside my cell. Here it's mainly dark with threatening shadows from the flickering torches along the galley way. And the blackness is complemented with sounds of agony as fellow prisoners are beaten on an hourly basis. I wanted my design to depict that same pain and hopelessness as you spiral down the black hole of despair.

The Major asked me to "tone it down" on the evilness and add more color to spruce it up. She explained that not everyone appreciates our depressive culture as much as we do. She said to make it look fast. I asked, "you mean like a flaming arrow just as it's about to pierce the body cavity with glorious after effects-fast?" She responded, "Yes, think more embers and less ash." Okay, I guess I could live with that.

We bypassed Captain Insano because she'll only slow down the approval process. Besides, she already has a full plate with that world destruction plan she's brewing. We went straight to the top and got it done fast. Godfather Merciless was especially pleased with the design, as I knew he would be. I told him I recommended removing the rear door so the further back you go, the more trapped you'll feel. With an affirming grin he said, "You're starting to think like me."

Godfather Merciless wept as he detailed how the colors resurrected childhood memories of their vacation home. As a junior deatheater, his bedroom tower overlooked several meandering lava flows intertwined throughout the barren valley. Across the midsection laid a scorched path littered with bones and smoldering remains. That path is where he scampered daily with his beloved pet Balrog. All the rivers converged and spilled into the giant Lake of Fire where his father once taught him to swim. "That is why my body has no hair," he exposed to my burning eyes.

There was a recent article about our January media event. To soften the image for public consumption, they described the color to be "candy-apple" red. I guess "hematoma" red may be a bit too violent.

In the near future when the weather improves, I'll have more photos of the UBT in action,  terrorizing transit centers and consuming passengers whole. Until then, look out!

The armada preparing for the onslaught.

The Hot Pot Legacy

Just as I was contemplating retiring this blog, one of my favorite annual rituals came up: Ray's Hot Pot Party! I've blogged about this party the last three years so it will be disappointing to my readers to not keep it going. Yeah, leave it to Ray to keep postponing my retirement by providing fresh content. This blog may not die just yet.

It's only been three months since my last blog. That's not that long considering yesterday OFaithGraceHope posted three new blogs after a three year absence! In my absence I hope you've been following MamaCez. She has superhuman abilities to be able to blog faster than I can read! And what amazing life adventures they lead! But here's a warning: reading her blog will only depress you, because you'll quickly realize your life will never be as good as theirs.

In the photo above, we were observing a moment of silence for the deaths of Kim Jong Il and the Raider's postseason.

BGG (Boiler Girl Grace) is like the most dependable soldier. She cooked for everyone and never left her post. Owen stayed by her side half the time, but eventually left. He did come back later with a pee bucket.

I still recall that memorable night five years ago when she was born.
We were all depressed because we were short one person for mahjong!

If you go to a New Year Eve's party, it's bad etiquette to fall asleep or leave before midnight.

It's after midnight and the Spice Girls are just warming up!

That, my friend, is the look of a loser!

Playing baseball in a house full of breakable items at 1:30 a.m. – I see nothing wrong with that!

Flashing, kissing, and acting weird on New Year's Eve – I see nothing wrong with that.

In case I don't blog again next year, below are a collection of our hot pot gatherings over the years. Even with Ray gone to Texas, South America and Africa during those years, I am grateful we've all remained close friends to this day. The craziness will live on forever!

 2010
It's like coming back from vacation and looking at your photos and asking,
"How did that Caucasian couple get into the picture??"
Also, I just realized I did not blog about this! How did that happen??

2009
Chris and I both showed up solo. Can you say, "Best Year Ever?!"
Oh, and one family was late and insisted to be Photoshopped in. Any guesses?

2008
This was a quieter year because Grace had some preaching excuse engagement,
so we replaced them with another preacher.
I had a horrible night of MJ, but kicked butt on Scrabble.

2007
My boys were away at my sister's – Second Best Year Ever!
I snuck Grace and Owen in. I told them it's cool, just blend in...
Ted deep fried a turkey and Twinkies.
Charlie is neatly tucked away under Mary's sweater.
And this was our first year taking a group photo.

2006
Sadly could not find any photos of the hotpot party.
This was the day after, at our house, eating the rest of the uncooked food.

2005
Again, no photos found.

2004
I dug this one up. Look, still the same furniture!

The Love of a Preacher Man

My good buddy Ray is finally back to California for good! Those 10 years seemed to just come and go. During his fruitful years, he pastored the youth in Texas, explored missionary work in Ecuador/Tanzania/Egypt (finally landing in Uganda), and most importantly, serving and learning Spanish in Mexico.

Working in San Jose, I truly believe Spanish is the most important second language to learn in America. I know many of you think Mandarin is the way to go. You think it's academic, respected, and superior to the lowly Cantonese. But most Mandarin speakers already speak English quite well. So unless you intend to move to China or want to pick up a high-maintenance fobby chick at the karaoke bar, I don't see the value in speaking Mandarin. Remember back in the 80's when they said Japanese was the most important language to learn? Um, yeah.

Ray can personally attest to the benefits of knowing Spanish. All this time while we thought Ray had no interest in women, he was secretly romancing a girl named Judit... across the border! Yep, that Ray is an international man of mystery! In school, he must've aced Spanish Pickup Lines 101. Yes, our prayers have been answered! Ray has found his true love!

Last month Ray pinged me. He asked about my availability on a certain day in September. He said he needed a photographer for a secret mission. (Photography?? I was thinking mahjong and hotpot...) I was a bit intrigued so I agreed. Then he dropped the bomb and told me it was an engagement session of him and Judit. What?? Last month I didn't even know she existed... and now you're engaged?? 

I was hesitant at first—mainly because I've never done anything remotely close to this. I mean, the only couples I've ever shot were a couple of light rail cars, or a couple of pregnant teens boarding a bus. And it's been a long while since my Scott Robert and Lightroom trainings. But since Ray is my favorite missionary man (sorry Dave), I knew I had to do my best to support him any way I can.

We tried a couple of locations at Crissy Field but it was crowded and windy. We finally settled at the Presidio where we found several interesting backdrops. Judit was a total natural as she just knew what kind of poses she wanted. As the day wore on, we got more and more confident and comfortable with each other. I let them do their thing while I just snapped away. Before we knew it, it was time to go home. And I was dying to get started on the post-processing.

In the end, the pictures speak for themselves. They really need to get a room! Haha!! Thanks Ray and Judit for entrusting these memories to me. I truly had a great time with you both. Just remember, I don't do weddings :)

My NC-40 Birthday BBQ

If you're like me, with several kids, there's never a shortage of birthday parties. It seems like we've been averaging two parties a week every week since school let out. Most of these parties involve our core group of church families, so I know everyone and generally have a great time. But sometimes it's my kids' school friends, which I totally dread... Sorry, but I find it hard to go out and meet new parents. Them soccer moms are so clique-ish with their Mandarin gossip, Burberry purses, and luxury SUV's... and need I mention their freakish overachieving children? Gag! I quickly find myself among the only two dads there, so I get stuck trying to make conversation with that other poor soul. The party can't end soon enough.

So for my birthday, I begged the wife to let me invite my friends, regardless if my family liked them or not :) I wanted to invite everyone, but in the interest of saving my marriage, the wife suggested I only invite people that I don't normally see. Furthermore, in order to make me feel young (or at least younger), all adults had to be to be my age or older. Criteria: if you can't remember exactly where you were when you found out Bruce Lee died, you're too young.

The group that was finally assembled I affectionately refer to them as the "Loud & Proud Crowd." They have the largest appetites for life and have matching lungs to prove it. They talk about everything under the sun and no topic is forbidden, including personal hygiene and unflattering emissions. My mom even commented to me in another room that she's never heard so many women laugh so loud. I had to tell her one of those women was Dave.

Actually I was getting back at my new next-door Indian neighbors. Last week they had a party where they were singing Bollywood karaoke (I had no idea there was such a thing). That day I witnessed some of the most bizarre sounds... some questionably non-human. One could argue they were teaching goats how to bleat in unison. So with the all my windows facing their side open, we roared back to show them exactly how us Chinamen party! The only thing missing was the clacking of mahjong tiles.

Needless to say, the party was a total blast. Your closest friends will never leave early claiming, "it's past my kid's bedtime…" But since it was a work night and Patty was coming, we had to have an end time of 10 p.m., otherwise Patty would have started pulling that aerobed out of her purse.

I would encourage you 40-something people to throw yourself a birthday party every once in a while. You don't need to think about goodie-bags, bouncy houses or piñatas, just have a simple dinner party with fun people. I would venture to guess that for most people, the last time they had a party just for themselves was their baby shower or bachelor party. So forget about your kids' friends for once and just invite your own. And of course, be sure to invite me :)

Thanks to Matt for taking the great pics.

If you're a single woman looking to attract men (not these men though), throw a BBQ.

Up until now, they've only read about my famous loft. Now they finally get to experience it!

All my friends are low-maintenance, self-entertaining people.

I had to build a second loft for Justine. No stinky boys are allowed on this one.

My mom makes the plumpest gin dui's, unlike those golfball-sized, thick-skinned Chinatown variety.

Is he kung fu fighting or trying to pass gas? Either way, the girls were keeping their distance.

There's no such thing as having too big of a grill.

My multi-talented loving wife who cleaned, prepped, cooked and cleaned nonstop for two days! AND, she even packs my lunch for work! I think she knew from the very start that it wouldn't be easy being married to me!

With a party of this magnitude, security detail was left to the Angels.

Can't be any louder. Can't be any prouder!

Mama Cez
For another perspective of my party, please visit Mama Cez. Yes, my one-time guest blogger started her own blog. And she is a blogging machine!! I did offer her some suggestions for the title of her blog (The Cez Dispenser, Cez-Side Story, Take a Dip in the Cez-pool, etc.), but like any highly creative person, she came up with her own.  So if you like to read about the lives of people that are more intriguing than mine, while catching more of Matt's exquisite photography, you should follow her blog.

Jaden turns 3

As I contemplate retiring from blogging, over the weekend I was encouraged to try and keep it going. They tell me how they miss reading about my life adventures, my party life and my work misery. Yes, work is miserable because we are short staffed which kind of kills my time for blogging. Also, I told them in order to keep this blog going, I would need their help. This means they need to keep my life eventful by inviting me over to all their parties and functions. They then said, "Ahh, just kill it, no one really reads it anyway..."

So this post is a bit overdue. But considering I've covered all the events of Jaden's life thus far (birth, red egg party, first and second birthdays), it wouldn't be right to stop now. In fact, if you want to further follow the Lau-sy lives of their family, be sure to check out Jeanie's blog, A-Lau Me to Explain. When it comes to planning parties, Jeanie is among the best in covering all the tiny details. As I've said before, Jimmy is one lucky dawg!

Free Slurpee Day Today

Today is July 11 and it's the annual free Slurpee day. As I've discovered over the years, not every store participates in this promo. To maximize your enjoyment potential, try to select the stores in the better neighborhoods and avoid the ones in the ghettolicious parts of town.
Have fun.

http://www.7-eleven.com/